


Let me in.

by jennawendi



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 36,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8281390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennawendi/pseuds/jennawendi
Summary: Severus Snape returns to the gates of Hogwarts tortured and unconscious. Hermione Granger, being the insufferable know-it-all that she is, has to learn why.





	1. Chapter 1

“Forgive me, my Lord, but I’m afraid I do not know”. Severus Snape sank to his knees at his masters’ feet; his head to the floor. Shame was written across his face.  
“You don’t know?” Voldemort hissed. Clearly disappointed with this answer “explain, Severus.” He demanded.  
“My Lord, Dumbledore is secretive, he tells no one his plans for Harry Potter. He believes they’re safer that way”. Snape pleaded.  
“Or, perhaps the trouble lies with you, Severus”.  
“My Lord?”  
“Were you the great spy you claimed to be, the information I so desperately seek would be mine already. It seems you are not as useful as I predicted. But, no matter, you are so easily disposable”. Voldemort’s red eyes gleamed with malice and he grinned but this grin showed no sign of real delight. No. Snape knew that grin and it meant nothing but pain.  
“My Lord, please, give me more time. I can find the information you need. I am sure of it”. Snape begged, Voldemort chuckled.  
“You walk a very thin line, Severus. You have proved yourself useful in the past, yes, but do not for one second think that guarantees your rank amongst my followers, my need for you is fading Severus, it would do you well to remember that. Did you, at least, discover why Albus employed that stuttering old fool, Slughorn, to teach Potions this year? Why, after so many years of being denied the position, suddenly you were appointed the post of Defence Against The Dark Arts?” Severus’ head dropped lower. His long, hooked nose almost reaching the floor.  
“I’m sorry, my Lord, Dumbledore will not tell anyone. He claims it is of importance, but that is the only information he will share at this time”. Snape knew his master was angry now, truly angry, he was facing the floor, eyes clenched tightly shut, but he felt the air shift. He could feel his masters’ anger rolling off of him in waves and he knew, all too well, what was coming next: punishment.  
“You mean to tell me, I call you here, almost two months after the start of term and you come to me with nothing of use? You are a disgrace Severus! Next time I summon you, I will have the information I asked for, or you will be killed. But for now, you are to be punished. Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!” Voldemort bellowed, with anger and force unlike any other Snape had seen. Snape was screaming, thrashing, yelling, sobbing, and cursing. He’d taken punishments before, and he’d handled them like a man, he’d clenched his teeth, let out the occasional whimper or groan, and returned to Hogwarts. Never showing the true pain he felt until he was in the safety and privacy of his own chambers. This time was different. This was unlike any other punishment he’d endured. This was pure rage rolling off his master, through the core of his wand and beaming directly into Severus’ soul. He felt every flick of his masters’ wand as he repeated the incantation over and over again, releasing his anger onto the only living thing in sight that could scream: Snape.

Whether the punishment lasted minutes, hours, days or weeks; Snape wasn’t sure. It could have lasted forever. His muscles and growing headache were sure it did last forever. The next time he heard his masters’ voice, he was creating a portkey, Voldemort dropped the old tin can onto Severus’ chest and watched as the portkey activated and in a whirl he was gone, travelling back to the gates of Hogwarts.

Snape hit the ground with a thud and groaned loudly before rolling over and throwing up. This was bad, this was very bad. What was he going to tell Albus? ‘Sorry but I’m going to have to reveal all your secrets to the Dark Lord next time I’m summoned otherwise it’s quite likely I’ll come back dead’. He tried rolling over to gather his surroundings but found he couldn’t, all of his muscles seemed to fight against him and he relaxed them in defeat and sighed. He figured he was probably at the gates of Hogwarts, which was where he was always sent back to after a punishment, but usually he was able to stand up and, at the very least, drag his way to the front door. This time, however, he was stuck. He focused all of his energy and removed his wand from his robe, he cast a patronus, after four attempts, and gave it a message to deliver to Albus, informing him of his situation, he then threw up once more and fell unconscious.

Hermione Granger was patrolling one of the few corridors she was assigned to monitor at night as a prefect. It was a quiet night. She’d deducted five points from a second year Hufflepuff for trying to sneak up to the astronomy tower and sent him back to bed. That was about the most interesting thing that had happened to her all night and she was absolutely ready to go to bed. She checked her watch, 11:55. Only five more minutes and she could finally retire to her dorm. As she looked back up from her watch, though, she saw a silver silhouette running, no galloping, towards her. As it got closer, she recognised it as a patronus in the form of a doe. She stuck her arm out slightly to steady it.  
"Whoa girl, easy, what’s wrong?” She asked, stroking the does head. Suddenly a voice came from it.  
“Albus, I’m outside the gates, it’s bad this time, he sent me back, I can’t move. I need your help, I can’t get up. Come and get me”. Hermione recognised the voice as her professor Snape. He sounded so pained, so fragile, so weak. Why was he outside the gates? Why did he sound so injured? What had happened to him? She sprinted off in the direction of Dumbledore’s office, running as fast as her legs could carry her. When she reached the gargoyle she realised she didn’t know the password. “Dammit!” she said, frustrated, kicking the statue, it opened its mouth.  
“Hello?” Asked the gargoyle, but with Dumbledore’s voice. Hermione spoke back into its mouth.  
“Professor Dumbledore! It’s Hermione Granger, please sir, you have to come quickly. It’s Professor Snape, I think he’s injured”. The Gargoyles suddenly sprang to life and the staircase behind it spiralled downwards until, standing in front of Hermione, was Professor Dumbledore in his night cap and gown.

“Miss Granger, what’s wrong?”  
“It’s professor Snape sir. I was doing my rounds in the corridor down by the astronomy tower and a patronus came running up to me. It was professor Snape’s, he said ‘it’s bad this time, he sent me back, I’m outside the gates and I can’t move’ or something like that, please sir, you have to come quickly”. Hermione realised, as she came to the end of her sentence, she’d been speaking so frantically she’d forgotten to breath, and she struggled to catch her breath back.  
“Miss Granger, please, calm down. Return to your dormitory. Thank you for bringing this information”.  
“But, sir, professor Snape. Will he be okay?” She asked, worry evident in her voice.  
“I assure you, he will survive, now, run along Miss Granger”.  
He will survive? What kind of reassurance was that? Hermione thought. No, Dumbledore’s word wasn’t good enough this time. She’d have to see for herself. She ran, all the way back to Gryffindor tower, shouted “gillyweed” to the fat lady as she was approaching, so that the door was open for her when she got there and straight up the steps into the boys dormitory and into Harry’s room.  
“Harry” she whispered urgently, shaking him awake, he groaned and rolled over.  
" ‘Mione? What’s going on? Why are you here? What time is it?”  
“Shh, it’s alright Harry, nothing’s wrong. I just need to borrow your invisibility cloak, where is it?”  
“In the trunk, bottom of the bed” he mumbled, already halfway back to sleep. Hermione found it and ran back out again, back through the portrait hole, throwing the cloak over her as she went, and down the front entrance of the castle. She stood by the door and waited for about ten minutes. She wondered whether Dumbledore was actually going to come back. She was about to go and search somewhere else for them when the doors started to open. Even though she was invisible, she instinctively jumped to the side and hid behind a suit of armour. Dumbledore walked through first, with professor Snape unconscious and levitating behind him, and professor McGonagall walking at the back. Hermione quietly followed them, making as little noise as possible, all the way to the hospital wing but, as soon as professor McGonagall walked through the door she closed it behind her. There was no way Hermione could get in there without blowing her cover, so she pressed her ear against the door and listened hard.  
“- worst case I’ve ever seen Albus. You can’t keep sending him back. The cruciatus curse is slowly killing him”.  
“I agree with Minerva, Albus. Severus’ wounds get more severe every time he’s bought to me. I fear one day, he’s going to be beyond repair”.  
“That is a chance I, and Severus, are both willing to take. Voldemort is getting stronger, if we lose Severus now, we lose the war”. Hermione felt sick. She didn’t want to hear anymore. She ran back up to her dorm, throwing Harry’s cloak under her bed –she’d return it tomorrow- and got under the covers. She dreamt that night she was tortured by Voldemort until she was ‘beyond repair’. She woke up covered in sweat and tears.

The next morning she woke in a foul mood. How could Dumbledore be so cruel? Sure, Snape wasn’t the nicest of people (she suddenly had a flashback of the year he insulted her when her teeth wouldn’t stop growing from a hex) but just because he was capable of a few hurtful comments didn’t mean he deserved to be tortured by the most evil wizard to ever live! She kept replaying the scenes from last night in her head. Snape’s limp body levitating behind Dumbledore. It pained Hermione to think of him like that. He’d always been so sure, so confident, so strong, yet last night he looked so defeated. She thought back to the conversation she heard in the hospital wing. How Dumbledore would carry on sending him back to Voldemort without a second thought because it was convenient to him, without a second thought on the condition in which Professor Snape would return. Whether he would be unhurt or sane or even alive. Hermione suddenly felt a burning hatred for Dumbledore. This is a man she had always trusted, always depended on, always followed blindly without a second thought. She tried to imagine herself in Professor Snape’s position, being ordered to face Voldemort. Time and time again, not knowing if you would return. She shivered at the thought and, in that moment, she felt a great sense of respect and admiration for Professor Snape and, it was in that moment, she made a vow to uncover just what was going on in the lives of Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore and, if she had to, she would put a stop to it.

She pulled on her school uniform, with a little more force than necessary – fuelled by determination at her latest project – scraped her hair back into a pony tail and marched down to breakfast. Naturally, she was there before Harry and Ron so she helped herself to a piece of toast and pulled all of her books for today’s lessons out of her bag. She noticed she had Defence Against the Dark Arts today and looked up towards the high table where the teachers sat. Every member of staff sat there, happily conversing and eating breakfast, all apart from Professor Snape. Hermione’s stomach turned in disappointment but she realised, if he was as bad as Madame Pomfrey was saying last night, he was hardly likely to rise as early as usual and come down to breakfast. No, she would have to make an assessment of him this afternoon in class, see if there was any obvious physical damage. The only problem was, he wasn’t in class that afternoon, or the lesson after that, or the lesson after that and Hermione began to seriously worry. She was in her sixth year at Hogwarts and she’d never known of professor Snape miss a class, ever. Of course, nobody else seemed to worry; they were all delighted that their usual teacher was nowhere to be seen. They were even more delighted when, after the fourth class with still no Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore walked in and claimed he was temporarily taking over the class. Everybody happily chattered their approval of this but Hermione sat there, scowling, glaring at Professor Dumbledore. She’d really grown a disliking to the headmaster over the last few days and he seemed to grow slightly uncomfortable every time he caught her staring at him with disapproval and disgust in her eyes. It made him feel as though he were a child again, caught in an act of disobedience.  
“Isn’t this great Hermione?” Harry exclaimed “no Snape!”  
“Professor Snape Harry, and aren’t you slightly worried? Professor Snape never misses a class”.  
“So? Who cares? This is great!” Hermione sighed in frustration. She had to come up with a plan.  
Hermione walked in to the hospital wing and glanced around. There was no sign of professor Snape on any of the beds, but she expected this, he was most likely in a private room out of sight of students. She walked up to Madame Pomfrey’s office door and knocked.  
“Come in” she called. “Ah, Hermione dear, what can I do for you?”  
“Actually, I was wondering if I might ask you a favour.”  
"Of course, dear, ask away”.  
"Well, since about second year, I’ve wanted to be a healer, I’ve always wanted to use my brains and magic for something good, to help people, but I was doing some research and I never realised just how difficult it would be, how much there is to learn, to remember, to do. And, I was wondering, whether you’d ever considered taking on a sort of… apprentice. I could almost shadow you and learn from you and, by the time I left school to study healing, I’d already have a basic understanding and knowledge. Some field work, if you will and I thought this would help me a lot and give me a better opportunity to get into the profession. I promise I won’t get in your way. I’m just so desperate to learn about it. Please, Madame Pomfrey”.  
Madame Pomfrey seemed to think about it for a second before smiling at Hermione.  
“I think that is a wonderful idea! Oh, I wish you’d of said something sooner, I could have recruited you last year; Merlin knows I could use the help! I think this will be good for you Hermione. Healing is an excellent profession to get into and, with your brains, I think you’ll go far. Yes, you could be quite useful around here. I’ll start off teaching you basic spells for colds and head aches and upset stomachs that once perfected you can perform on students when they come in here. I’ve heard you’re quite a skilled potion maker too, yes? Because it’d be most helpful if you could brew a few simple potions for me over the next couple of weeks. Dreamless sleep and simple little things like that, only until Professor Snape is back, Merlin knows Professor Slughorn is useless when brewing for the infirmary. I’d be waiting all year for a potion from him!” Hermione wasn’t really paying much attention, letting Madame Pomfrey soliloquise while she was thinking of all the ways she could get to professor Snape, to find out where he is.  
“Can you start Monday dear?”  
"Hm? Oh, yes, of course. Thank you so much Madame Pomfrey. I won’t let you down! I’ll see you Monday after classes!” And with that, Hermione left the infirmary feeling incredibly pleased with herself. She couldn’t believe her luck. The plan went so well, now all she had to do was wait for Monday and start her ‘apprenticeship’. With a look of determination on her face. She headed off to the great hall for dinner. Planning her first move for Monday.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning Hermione sat at breakfast, anxiously nibbling her toast. She had no idea what the outcome of today would bring. She only hoped it would at least bring her one step closer to discovering the truth about Professor Snape. She realised, somewhere over the weekend, in between making notes about her new project (which she has code named Project Panther – Professor Snape has always reminded her of a black panther, silently and invisibly stalking his prey, waiting for the right moment to attack) and thinking about how much she dislikes professor Dumbledore for putting her new favourite professor in danger constantly, that she has developed somewhat of an obsession over this. She then realised that she doesn’t care. As long as she finds out the truth, what does it matter the lengths she has to go to? Constant vigilance, right? Anyway, she’s always been insufferable, according to Professor Snape. She smiled at that thought.  
She scurried off to her first class, after abandoning her toast, with her bag slung over her shoulder and her astronomy books clutched tightly to her chest. She always hated Mondays; Astronomy at first period was too much for even Hermione Granger. A persons’ brain can only function so much this early in the morning, even if that person is ‘the brightest witch of her age’. She reached the astronomy tower a few minutes earlier than her peers and pulled her cloak tightly around her to fight off the October chill. Monday morning astronomy is theory, obviously because no stars are visible in daylight, but she never understood why theory has to be done on the tower too. Why couldn’t it be in a warm classroom? Like normal lessons.  
Her fellow students began to pile in, followed by the professor just as the bell rang for first period, she opened her books and barely paid attention all lesson; Professor Snape right at the front of her mind. In fact, she barely paid attention in any of her lessons, unable to think of anything other than Project Panther and all the different ways it could go wrong. He could reject her help, he could report her to Dumbledore for interfering in a professors life, he could call her an insufferable know it all and publicly shun and embarrass her in front of her peers or, worst of all, he could laugh at her, tell her he doesn’t want her help, and to stay away from him. The thought made her stomach turn and she started to feel sick as she made her way to the hospital wing. Wishing she hadn’t have dropped her bag off in her dorm before she came, it was in times of nervousness, such as this, that she would play with the loose thread on the strap of her bag, now her arms hung loosely at her sides, suddenly feeling too long and out of place and she became aware of every part of her body and how out of place she felt.  
She reached the door to the hospital wing quicker than she expected and took a deep breath before knocking and entering.  
“Hermione, wonderful! Come in, have a seat” Madame Pomfrey said. Hermione approached the matrons’ desk and sat in the seat opposite her, composing herself and steadying her shoulders, adopting the same look she has in all of her classes, the sheer look of determination her professors have grown accustomed to and expect. Madame Pomfrey reached into her desk draw and pulled out a notebook and a quill with an inkwell before sliding them all over to Hermione.  
“This will be your healing notebook. Everything you learn in this room will be noted in this book. Over the next few months this book will be your life, your guideline, your best friend. This book will be everything you know. Do you understand?” Hermione nodded and sat up even straighter, momentarily forgetting all about project Panther, focusing only on Madame Pomfrey’s words and feeling more Hermione-like than she has in days, knowledge – this, she knew and could cope with; professor Snape, she felt she could not. Madame Pomfrey looked at the clock  
“Right now it’s 4:45. Around this time we usually get all the children that have been feeling unwell during the day but felt it wasn’t serious enough to leave classes. Your general stomach aches, headaches, a sore foot and things like that. Your job for the rest of this week is to follow me around the hospital wing. I want you to write down the details of everyone who walks in into your notebook. Age, height, gender, symptoms and my diagnosis and treatment. Every night you will go over every patient from that day and write down how, in your opinion, I came to my diagnosis and why I gave them the treatment I did. This will help you to understand diagnostics quicken your reaction times to different cases, and teach you the best treatments to different ailments. You will return your reports to me every Monday morning before classes and I will have them checked and feedback ready for the afternoon. I must warn you though, Hermione, if you have any doubts, any whatsoever, I advise you to tell me now. Healing isn’t something one jumps into lightly. Its long hours, hard work and plenty of stress. Not something just anyone can do” Hermione thought about this for a second. All of those reports, every night, on top of her ever growing stack of homework and revision for her N.E.W.T. exams next year, it would be a lot of stress, and would exhaust her and for what? A professor that has done nothing but bully her, her friends and, come to think of it, the entire student body for numerous years. A man that wouldn’t applaud her for her efforts to help him, nor appreciate it, probably wouldn’t even acknowledge it but this was Hermione Granger; the insufferable know-it-all that stuck her nose in wherever it wasn’t wanted. Hermione Granger was a relentless, pestering, irritating swot who had to get involved in every bodies business to give her opinion and help which was neither wanted nor necessary. Hermione Granger was exactly the type of person to take on the role of an apprentice healer, suffer hours upon hours of stress and work and take up her already limited time just because her curiosity was peaked and had to uncover the mysterious life of a man who has shown nothing but, at best, a cold tolerance to her; and that’s exactly what she did. She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and said:  
“Madam Pomfrey; I’m ready to learn healing.”  
Madame Pomfrey was right about the amount of work that goes into healing. Three days in and she was already beginning to feel the strenuous effects. She was more tired than usual, her wrists constantly ached from writing all day in class, all afternoon in the hospital wing, and then all night in her dorm and she was constantly hungry, often having to skip meals to ensure she stayed on top of her homework and apprenticeship work. But, she’d never felt better for it. Not only was she constantly excited that any moment could be the one she found professor Snape, she’d also learned that she actually really enjoys healing. Naturally, she’d picked it up fast and, by the end of her second night, she’d already prescribed potions to two pupils – one had fallen off their broom during Quidditch practise and fractured their ankle, the other had turned their hands into feet accidentally during transfiguration. Madame Pomfrey was immensely proud of her and her progress and, by the end of her second week; Madame Pomfrey would leave Hermione alone in the hospital wing to deal with the patients as she retired to her office for an hour to keep on top of paperwork. Hermione was in her element.  
“Hermione?” Hermione turned stopped redressing the wounds of a third year Ravenclaw and turned to Madame Pomfrey who had walked out of her office, presumably having finished her paperwork  
“remember when you first asked about this apprenticeship and I said I might need you to brew me some potions?” Hermione nodded “well I need a couple of batches of Dreamless Sleep, if it’s not too much trouble. I know you do a lot of work already, it’s just, professor Snape is still out and, if I ask Slughorn, he’ll forget what I asked him by the end of dinner.”  
“Of course Madame Pomfrey but, I’ll need Flobberworm mucus which isn’t available in the students storage”  
“Of course dear, you will have full access to Professor Snapes’ storage while he’s out” Hermione smiled.  
“Thank you Madame Pomfrey, I’ll get started on it tonight.”  
Madame Pomfrey took Hermione down to the dungeons at 9:00 that night and showed her through to Professor Snapes personal storage, also telling her she will have full access to Professor Slughorns’ classroom after hours to brew the potion. Hermione hadn’t felt this excited since the beginning of her project. She was sure she was going to get nowhere closer to finding professor Snape but this gave her a whole other upper hand. She was sure Professor Snape was still in the hospital wing, but, he had to be moved back to his private chambers at some point, which, were still in the dungeons. He had to come down here at some point in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, she would spend all her time in Professor Slughorn’s classroom after finishing in the hospital wing. She could brew the potion, do her homework and continue project panther down here. She couldn’t help but smile as she began chopping the ingredients for the potion and lighting a flame to put the cauldron on. Today has been a good day, and she wrote down her progress that night in her dorm in her ‘project panther’ notebook and all the possible ways her new advantage could lead her to professor Snape.


	3. Chapter 3

It was two weeks before the Christmas holidays and McGonagall was going around taking the names of the students who had elected to stay at Hogwarts. Hermione immediately put her name down, her enthusiasm striking Professor McGonagall as quite odd but Hermione quickly explained she wanted to take full advantage of the library being empty. That answer seemed to satisfy McGonagall and she thought nothing else of it.  
Obviously, it wasn’t the empty library that excited Hermione; it was the empty potions laboratory that she’d be able to accommodate all day for the next two weeks. Also, she was sure Professor Snape had to be getting better now. He’d nearly been down there for two months.  
It was a Tuesday afternoon and Hermione was in her last lesson of the day: Defence Against the Dark Arts, she wasn’t really paying much attention to Dumbledore. Instead, she was writing up her reports from yesterday in the infirmary, of all the pupils she’d assessed, and how she had chosen to treat their ailments. Lately, she seemed to prefer her healing assignments much more than all of her usual lessons. She looked at the clock, only two minutes until the end of the lesson and she could just hear Dumbledore telling the class to pack up their things.  
“Miss Granger, may I have a word at the end of class?” She looked up, that surprised her, Professor Dumbledore never asked to speak to her. She nodded quickly and her palms began to sweat as she lingered behind whilst all of her classmates piled out of the room  
“Is there a problem, Professor?” She asked, approaching his desk where he sat with his hands folded neatly in front of him. She still didn’t like her Headmaster, but even somebody as hard-headed as Hermione Granger could admit he was bloody intimidating  
“No, Miss Granger, not exactly a problem, merely an observation. Many of your Professors, including myself, seem to think that quite recently; your classwork doesn’t seem quite up to par with your usual standards.” She blinked a few times, her mouth slightly open. She didn’t really know how to respond. The first emotion she felt was anger. How dare he insult her work? She was never anything less than brilliant.  
“Sir?” She questioned, not really trusting her quick tongue to say anything else.  
“Your work, Miss Granger. As of late, you seem… distracted, I think is the best word for it and, it is becoming quite noticeable in your work. Usually, as you already know, you always go above and beyond with every piece of work you do. Your assignments are always at least a foot longer than required and your work is normally at least a month ahead of everybody else. I’m concerned, miss Granger.”  
“With all due respect Headmaster, I disagree. My works is still up to standard, is still always on time and, actually, still a lot better than everybody else’s. There is no real cause for concern within any of my work and, honestly, I am quite insulted you would imply otherwise.” The headmaster sighed  
“Very well Miss Granger, but, before you go, I must ask you. This new position of yours in the hospital wing, it wouldn’t have anything to do with that night you came to me with concerns for Professor Snape, would it?”  
“Of course not, Professor, healing is something I’ve always been interested in learning and Madame Pomfrey is very grateful for my help”  
“Very well, you’re free to go Miss Granger.” Hermione turned and left the room, feeling as though she hadn’t breathed since Professor Dumbledore first asked her to stay behind.  
It was the last day before the Christmas holidays and everyone at Hogwarts was noticeably excited. Nobody seemed to be dreading exams for the moment, the hallways and classrooms were filled with laughter, even the Professors seemed happier, all apart from one, Hermione thought, one that should be here, but isn’t.   
She was sat in the Great Hall with Harry, Ron and Ginny, it was the end of term feast and the students were all laughing amongst themselves whilst stuffing their faces, making plans for the holidays.  
“So, Hermione, are you all packed to go home?” Ginny asked her  
“No, actually, I’m not going home for the holidays this year” Ron nearly choked on his chicken leg  
“What?! You’re not going home? Why? Why haven’t you told us, we’d of stayed here with you” Ron looked quite hurt, as if Hermione was trying to avoid them. Really, that wasn’t too far from the truth. Not only did she not want them constantly asking where she was, she was also growing quite tired of Ron’s sudden interest in her. He thought she hadn’t noticed, but she had. The lingering looks, the insistence that he accompany her to places she really didn’t need accompanying, always sitting a little too close. She was flattered, truly, but Ronald Weasley was not someone she ever envisioned herself spending her life with. She loved him, dearly, as though he were a brother. But Hermione wanted a challenge. Hermione needed somebody who would push her to her limits on a daily basis, a real opponent. Ron was none of these things  
“Ron, honestly, that sweet but I’d rather be alone. I’m going to spend the entire holiday in the library studying and researching. Not to mention my apprenticeship, I’ll spend a lot of my time with Madame Pomfrey too so I wouldn’t see you even if you did stay” Ron still looked quite hurt so Harry changed the subject  
“By the way, how is your apprenticeship coming along?” So Hermione dove into conversation about everything she’s seen in the infirmary. The first years who come in missing ears or half turned into animals, the fourth years who have nearly been killed in Care of Magical Creatures and how much she loves every second of it and how she is seriously considering becoming a healer. Harry, in turn told her about the new moves he’s learnt in Quidditch and how he’s going to practise them at the burrow, where he’s staying over Christmas and how Slytherin don’t stand a chance next term. Hermione had missed this; mindless chatter over dinner with her best friends. She really did wish she’d make more time for them. But that was the problem: time. She seemed to have none of it lately.  
She stood from the table and gave all of her friends a hug, saying her goodbyes, telling them she wouldn’t see them off in the morning because she planned to sleep in late. She’d already sent all of her presents off to Molly for Christmas day anyway. She told them she was going up to bed, but, instead, she headed straight to the potions classroom to continue the sleeping draught for the infirmary. After all, they were running quite low and, technically the Christmas holidays had started. Madame Pomfrey did tell her she had unrestricted access, after all.  
After she’d been there for an hour, and she was letting the draught simmer for the length of time it needs, she continued with her reports for Madame Pomfrey. She was just writing about why she used regular muggle Burn cream on a second year Ravenclaw, instead of a cooling charm because of the medicinal properties when she heard voices outside of the classroom door.  
“Are you sure this is wise, Albus? Tonight, when all the students are about saying goodbye to their friends?”  
“My dear, not even the Slytherin’s occupy the dungeons at this hour, I assure you it is quite safe to move him, after all, he deserves to be in his own chambers over Christmas.” Hermione’s heart began hammering in her chest. This had to be it. They were moving Professor Snape back to his chambers, she suddenly felt grateful that she left the door half open; opening it now would draw attention to her. She waited for a minute until she was sure they had turned the corner before she tiptoed out of the room and followed them. As she turned the next corner she stopped in her tracks and jumped back behind the wall, Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape, levitating unconsciously, had stopped outside of a door in between two suits of armour, with a painting of a black horse above it. This had to be the door to his chambers.   
“Facta, non verba” Dumbledore spoke to the door and it opened. Hermione wasn’t great with her Latin but she was pretty sure it meant ‘deeds, not words’. She silently ran over to the door and pressed her ear as closely as possible, listening. This reminded her of that night she listened in at the infirmary. Only now, she had her ear pressed to the private chambers of the most terrifying Professor she’d ever encountered.  
“-and you’re sure he’s ready to leave the infirmary?”  
“Yes, Minerva, quite sure. Poppy will come every morning at 7 to give him any assistance he may need and to check on him. He can send a patronus at any time during the day should he need us, then she’ll be by at 9:30 every evening to provide him with his sleeping draught, which, I believe, Miss Granger is so kindly brewing, right at this very moment, in fact.” Hermione startled at her own name, worried she’d been discovered she sprinted back to the potions lab and continued brewing. Once she was finished for the night, she retired back to her dorm for the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione, true to her word to the boys, slept in late the next morning; not getting up until 1:00pm. She headed down to the Great Hall for lunch and smiled at how empty the room was. There were two Ravenclaws, three Slytherins, a Hufflepuff and no Gryffindors, apart from Hermione. Hogwarts was empty, apart from the professors and seven students. Hermione loved it. Never had she known the castle to be so peaceful and beautiful. She was almost sad that the rest of the students that went home for the holidays would never know just how mesmerising Hogwarts was when decorated for Christmas. She wished she’d have stayed here over the holidays more often. She didn’t really fancy eating alone though, so she picked up her plate and headed over to the Hufflepuff sat on her own. Her name was Lacey Beaman, seventh year; she was doing her charms assignment when Hermione approached her. Hermione decided she liked Lacey; she was shy – but seemed to become a bit more talkative the longer they spoke- she was incredibly smart and funny  
“Anyway, thank you for coming to eat with me, but I gotta go to the library and finish this assignment”  
“you’re welcome Lacey, I might see you in there at some point over the holidays” Hermione waved goodbye to Lacey as she left the Great Hall.  
After lunch, Hermione went to Slughorn’s classroom to continue with the potion and her reports. She knew she wasn’t going to be needed much in the infirmary over the Christmas holidays due to the lack of students so she made a mental note to start on her classwork this holiday, if she got a couple of weeks ahead during this time then she wouldn’t have to worry about falling behind in the new term when her schedule becomes hectic again. While she was tending to the potion she made a list of the other potions that the infirmary was running low on. As long as she was capable of making them, she couldn’t see why she shouldn’t. After all, they didn’t know when professor Snape was going to be well enough again. She began to think about professor Snape and how grateful he must be to be back in his own chambers over Christmas. Chambers that were only around the corner. Chambers that Hermione knew the password to. She shook her head. As if she’d sneak into a Professors private chambers just because she was curious about him. Haven’t you done worse things than that though? Just because you were curious. She thought to herself. She shook her head again, she was being ridiculous, and besides, what would Snape do if he caught her? It didn’t bear thinking about. But didn’t Professor Dumbledore say Madame Pomfrey would be there at 9:30 every night to give him his dreamless sleep? She thought to herself again, wishing she could find a way to shut herself up. She heard footsteps outside of the door and looked up quickly, she vaguely made out the shadow of madam Pomfrey and she went running over to the door  
“Madame Pomfrey?” She called “what are you doing down here?”  
“Oh hello, Hermione, really taking advantage of the potions lab aren’t we? I was just visiting Professor Snape, checking on him”  
“But, I thought Professor Snape was in the infirmary” Hermione said, digging for information, she found she was naturally quite good at it, she found Madame Pomfrey seemed to be quite trusting in Hermione, and Hermione seemed to take advantage of it  
“he was, he’s back in his rooms now though”  
“oh, that’s good. How is he?” Madame Pomfrey looked astounded that a student would care for the wellbeing of Professor Snape but quickly cleared her throat to cover it  
“well, to tell you the truth, he’s not progressing the way I’d like. He’s stable, he comes around every day now, he speaks and eats but he doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I suppose it’s a good thing that he’s not getting any worse but I thought he’d be improving” Madame Pomfrey looked both exhausted and exasperated and Hermione felt her itching impulse to help people rising in her chest  
“Madame Pomfrey, what actually is wrong with Professor Snape?” As soon as Hermione said this, she knew she had asked too much, and her questioning madam Pomfrey was coming to an end  
“oh dear, you know I can’t tell you that. Sorry, Hermione” she turned and left, walking away from Hermione, her curiosity peaked higher than ever.  
The entire time she was brewing her potion she was convincing herself that sneaking into Professor Snapes private rooms was not a good idea. It was ridiculous. What if she got caught? What if he woke up? What was she expecting to achieve? She then reasoned with herself that no one would be coming down to the dungeons, the Professors are in bed and there are only seven students in Hogwarts at this moment, herself being one of them. Plus nobody would expect Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, beloved student, to be stupid enough to sneak into Professor Snapes quarters. She also argued with herself that she knew he wouldn’t wake up, Madame Pomfrey had given him dreamless sleep, she’d been brewing for the infirmary herself, and she trusted her potions skills, and finally, how else did she expect to make a breakthrough in Project Panther if opportunities like this arose and she was too scared to take them? What kind of a Gryffindor are you? She asked herself. She even knew his password, for Merlin’s sake! She decided to go for it.  
She hadn’t quite yet mastered to disillusionment charm to complete invisibility, but with about ten minutes trying at it she knew she could make herself partly invisible, leaving only a slight shimmer of aura around her body, it could only really be seen if you were looking hard enough for it, she found it was good enough for her and made her was to Professor Snape’s chambers, her heart leaping in her chest. She approached his doors and whispered “facta, non verba”, the doors opened for her and she quickly stepped inside.  
As soon as she stepped over the threshold she had a sense of dread wash over her. She was actually stood here, inside Professor Snapes private rooms. She stood on the spot and turned round in a circle, examining her surroundings. Straight in front of her, against the right wall was a large mahogany desk, scattered with parchment, quills and abandoned inkwells, the desk had a large, wooden, obviously uncomfortable, high backed chair which made Hermione’s back ache just by looking at it, against the far back wall up the right corner was a liquor cabinet. It had a large glass tray on top with bottles of Firewhisky and dark, label less bottles with glasses and tumblers. There was a door next to the cabinet and a large, beautiful fireplace along from the door. To Hermione’s right was a large book case along the wall and in the middle of the room was a round table with two large, leather black chairs which looked a lot more comfortable than the table on the desk, and these were on a huge rug in the shade of a deep forest green. There was also another door on the far left wall. The room itself was simply breath taking. But it lacked Professor Snape, Hermione turned to look at the door on her left and decided to try that room. She opened it very carefully and quietly and snuck inside, leaving the door slightly open. She didn’t have to look very far. There wasn’t much in this room. No carpet or rug. There was another desk, like the one in the living room, only smaller; there were two doors to her right, a wardrobe to her left, and, in the middle of the room, a large, king sized bed with black silk sheets. Inside it: Professor Snape. Hermione stopped breathing. She was sure her heart had stopped beating and she was sure she was going to throw up. There was a small table next to his bed with an empty crystal phial. She was sure now he’d taken his dreamless sleep tonight and she took a small, shaky breath, edging forward towards the bed. She reached his bedside and looked down at him. He looked really out of character to Hermione. He had no scowl on his face, no snarl in his lip, no bared teeth- ready to insult his prey. He looked peaceful, calm, tired and so very weak. Hermione almost let out a small sob, this wasn’t her Professor, and she found it impossible to believe that a man she had once trusted as much as Professor Dumbledore could subject a man to this kind of fate. For once in her life, Hermione was scared of Professor Dumbledore. He had done the impossible, he had broken Professor Snape and Hermione was determined to fix him. She looked down at his pale face and noticed he was sweating. She felt his forehead; his temperature was through the roof. She pulled his quilt down from where it was pulled up around his neck, and pulled it to his waist, she summoned a bowl of water and a flannel and gently wiped the sweat from his face and held the cool cloth against his forehead for a while, lowering his temperature, she then cast a charm in the whole room dropping the temperature. She gave him ten minutes to cool down completely, and then pulled the blanket back up to his chest so he wouldn’t drop too cold, and silently crept out of his rooms and back to the potions lab to pack away her things. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she saw in Professor Snape’s rooms. He looked so fragile and small and it played on her mind all night.  
She went back the next night. He needed cooling down again. Hermione was sure madam Pomfrey didn’t realise how hot she was making the room, any patient would be suffering in here, the air was humid and thick. Night after night, Hermione crept into Professor Snape’s rooms, changed the temperature in his rooms and cooled him down with a cold flannel. After about five nights she noticed a small crease in between his eyebrows as if he was frowning. Hermione noticed this look from her sleeping patients she’d had in the infirmary; he had a headache. She summoned some salve she had from her room and gently rubbed it across his forehead and his temples until his face relaxed. She found herself smiling gently as she worked, glad that she made herself come here that first night, and every night after.  
By the end of the Christmas holidays she saw an improvement in her Professor and she knew it was down to her. She felt a sense of Pride she hadn’t felt in a while, knowing that she had helped her Professor, aided him, fixed him when Professor Dumbledore had broken him, it really made her swell with pride. She was upset that the Christmas holidays were coming to an end but, on the last day before the pupils returned to school, and Hermione walked in to the Great Hall for breakfast to see Professor Snape sat at the staff table eating, she was glad that classes were resuming soon. She couldn’t wait for Defence Against the Dark Arts.  
She couldn’t contain her smile all through her breakfast while she worked on her Transfiguration assignment and she almost had a heart attack when she heard the sound of a throat clearing behind her, she turned around to face Professor Snape and immediately shot to her feet  
“Professor” she acknowledged slightly out of breath “I’m glad you’re feeling better” she smiled at him, he looked slightly surprised but quickly recovered  
“yes, I’m sure. I’ve been informed that you now work with madam Pomfrey. Got bored of showing off in the class room did we? I’ve also been told that you have been brewing in my absence, for this, I am grateful. But, as you can see, I’m now back and will continue my work for the hospital wing. Classes resume on Monday and, if I’m not mistaken, you have my class last. At the end of class you will provide me with a list of potions you have brewed already, what you are currently brewing and what stage it’s at so that I know where to take over and, finally I will have a list of all potions the infirmary still need and I will prepare them. Do you understand? And, Miss Granger, what on earth are you still smiling at?” Hermione realised the entire time her Professor had been talking she had been smiling at him like an idiot. She hadn’t heard his baritone voice in so long she had forgotten the smoothness of it and how it gave you chills.  
“Nothing sir, just, glad you’re feeling better. Professor Dumbledore isn’t a very good substitute and, yes sir, I understand, I’ll have the list to you on Monday.” With that he nodded and walked away. Hermione smiled for the rest of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

The New Year started and, with it, came Professor Snape, much to the dismay of the other students. He was back to his usual self; Hermione took pride in the fact that it was her doing. It was as if he’d never left. He was back to terrifying students and docking house points left, right and centre whenever he felt like it. He was in his element again. Nothing like the man Hermione had seen in his chambers.  
Hermione was rapidly improving in her apprenticeship, spending all of her time after classes in the library, doing her reports and researching Healing as much as possible. When she took on this apprenticeship she never anticipated enjoying Healing the way she was. She couldn’t remember the last time she had completely thrown herself into her work like this and she loved every second of it. Her only complaint was not being able to see her friends very often anymore, but she knew they understood. Besides, they were always occupied with Quidditch and she vaguely remembered hearing something about Ron and Lavender. She’d have to ask him about that.   
“Hermione?” Madame Pomfrey called her, breaking her train of thought “how would you feel about working shifts, here, in the hospital wing?”  
“What do you mean?” Hermione asked, she was under the impression that she worked here already.  
“Well, years ago, I used to volunteer at St. Mungos hospital, it was something I loved doing, something I’ve wished I could do again, but never had the time. I thought, if you could work a couple of shifts a week here, then I could go back to St. Mungos whilst you’re here, watching the infirmary.”  
“Being in charge of the whole infirmary? With you away from the castle? Do you really think I’m ready? I’ve only been here a couple of months”  
“Hermione, dear, you are one of the most gifted witches I have ever met, Healing comes naturally to you. I think you are more than capable of handling the hospital wing a couple of times a week in my absence, I have no doubts.”  
“Thank you so much, Madame Pomfrey, you have no idea how much this means to me, I won’t let you down!”  
“I know you won’t dear. Now, I’ve drawn up a shift schedule for you, which you will find on the desk in my office – which, in my absences, will be your office. I will provide you with a new schedule at the start of every week. Your first shift is this Friday night, 4:00 until 7:00.”  
Hermione spent the rest of her night incredibly excited, Healing was slowly becoming her life and she was incredibly grateful for it. Hogwarts had gone back to normal and she had taken it into her stride gracefully. The pupils had returned, and she had immediately fallen back into her role as Healer without fault. It had also become common knowledge around the school that Hermione was working with Madame Pomfrey, this surprised no one. Students expected to be treated by Hermione now, and trusted her wholly. They were now in February and everything was back in to routine for her. So much so that she had put Project Panther right at the back of her mind. She’d had no contact, outside of class, with Professor Snape since sneaking into his chambers. Now, it was as if none of it had happened. The only contact she had with him now was giving him a list of potions the infirmary needed every other week, to which he would nod and dismiss her. To Hermione, it was hard to picture Professor Snape weak and in need of doctoring when, every day he stands at the front of his classroom, terrifying everybody just by being there. To her, he didn’t need help anymore and she was going to focus on those who did.  
She spent the whole day of Friday excited for her first shift that evening. 4:00 couldn’t come quick enough, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Madame Pomfrey was putting entirely too much trust in her hands. Three hours didn’t seem like much of a shift, but a lot could go wrong in that time. Hermione was as scared as she was excited and, by the time 4 O’clock rolled round her excitement had completely vanished leaving only pure fear.  
She entered the hospital wing feeling a lot less confident than usual and Madame Pomfrey picked up on it immediately.  
“There is no need to worry, Hermione, I trust you completely” Madame Pomfrey gave Hermione a briefing of all of the patients currently in the infirmary and what they’d be needing, before leaving, by floo, for St. Mungos.  
Hermione sat in her new temporary office, going over her patient reports and attempting to steady her breathing. So far; so good. She’d currently been in charge for a full forty five minutes without killing anybody. She called this a success. But, she found she still couldn’t relax properly. She had walked around the infirmary; checked on and tended to all of the patients; and even dealt with two new students who had come in (one had burnt off their eyebrow, the other had grown an extra ear) but, without Madame Pomfrey here, she couldn’t help but question and over-analyse her every decision, a big mistake in healing. She had no safety net to fall back on and she was struggling to remain calm. And, to think, she had to do this all again tomorrow night for her next shift. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. She could do this.

Two floors above Hermione, Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape were having a meeting in the Headmasters office.  
“Albus, my Dark Mark is growing darker and more painful. I fear tomorrow night is the night that the Dark Lord will summon me. He knows that I am available on Saturdays and therefore will be able to escape the castle unnoticed, and he knows I will have made a full recovery by now. I have no information to offer him, I will be killed!”  
“What is it that Lord Voldemort wants to know, Severus?”  
“He wants to know your plans for Harry Potter and your reasoning for bringing back Slughorn. He finds it interesting that you would suddenly appoint me Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts after denying me the position for over ten years.”  
“I believe that that fascinates us all, Severus. But, we’ll give the Dark Lord what he wants. Harry Potter and Professor Slughorn will be safe at Hogwarts under my protection. Tell him that Slughorn holds a memory of a very old Hogwarts student, one that I believe will be key to winning the war. Tell him I’ve recruited Harry Potter on somewhat of a mission to aid me in retrieving this memory and, tell him, I trust you enough in the position of the Dark Arts professor. After all, you have earned my trust, Severus.”  
“Very well, Albus, but, this memory, the key to winning the war, what is it?”  
“That’s what I hope to find out.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Come Severus, we are celebrating tonight.” Lucius Malfoy met Severus at the door of Malfoy Manor with a wide grin.  
“And what would tonight’s cause for celebration be?” Severus asked, feigning interest.  
“Draco has joined the cause. Tonight, he becomes a Death Eater. He’s in there receiving his mark right now, and, for later we caught him a few muggles to play with.” Both men shared a laugh.  
“Excellent news, congratulations, my old friend.” Severus followed Lucius and entered, what he knew to be, the largest room in the house. The first thing he noticed, upon entering, was the ear-splitting screams. They were coming from, what Severus presumed to be, a muggle. She was writhing around the floor under the cruciatus curse. The curse was being performed by Draco Malfoy who had a fresh ‘Dark Mark’ protruding from his wand arm. Severus wondered where it had all went wrong for the boy. He had once had so much potential and Severus couldn’t help but feel as though he had failed his God son. The next thing that he noticed was the Dark Lord himself, sat upon his throne, watching the activities a malicious grin and an approving gleam in his eyes.  
“Congratulations Draco” the Dark Lord called, instantly commanding the attention of everybody in the room “I have a welcoming gift to bestow upon you, my boy, but first, kill the muggle.” Everybody turned back to Draco, eager and expectant; he swallowed hard and looked towards his parents, who nodded at his encouragingly. He took a deep breath and shouted ‘Avada Kedavra’, killing the muggle where she lay. Voldemort cackled loudly, as did everybody else.  
“Well done, Draco. I must say, I didn’t believe you capable of murder, you have proven me wrong, something so few have the privilege of doing, I am impressed. But, now, your gift. This is an honour I would grace so few with; I am trusting you with a task, Draco. A task not many could complete and I am counting on you not to disappoint me. I need you to kill Albus Dumbledore.” Everybody in the room gasped loudly  
“Dumbledore? You want me to kill Dumbledore?” Draco stammered  
“Will this be a problem?”  
“No, of course not my Lord” Draco dropped to his knees “thank you my Lord, I am honoured, I will not disappoint you”  
“Now” Voldemort addressed the room “if you could all return to celebrating, I’d like to have a word with Severus in private.” Voldemort’s gaze met Severus’ across the room and he knew he had no choice but to follow. He followed his master to a room he hadn’t seen before. It was smaller, darker and smelt of blood and death  
“Welcome, Severus, this is my torture room, isn’t it marvellous” Severus merely smiled and nodded “and what is your report, this evening?”  
“My Lord, Dumbledore says he brought Slughorn back to Hogwarts for a memory. A memory he holds with a former student which Dumbledore believes will be key to winning the war. He has also recruited Harry Potter to befriend Slughorn, to gain his trust enough to retrieve this memory from him.” The entire time Snape spoke his voice never faltered and Voldemort looked pleased.  
“Well done Severus, this is excellent information. I always knew you were a good and faithful servant. But, I regret to inform you, you are in my torture room, and I am afraid that once I step foot in this room, I cannot leave without using it for its intended purpose; it’s a rule of mine.”

Half an hour later and Snape left the torture room sore and bloodied. He’d been whipped across his back and he was pretty sure his wand arm had been fractured. He was grateful, however, that this time, he was able to walk away (he remembered the last time he left Voldemort’s presence and how he was left for dead outside of the gates of Hogwarts). He wanted nothing more than to retire to his chambers and he’d almost reached the front door of the manor before he was pulled aside by Narcissa Malfoy and her sister Bellatrix Lestrange.  
“Severus” Narcissa spoke “I am sorry to trouble you, but I didn’t know where else to turn. Draco is just a boy.”  
“You should be honoured Cissy, as should Draco” her sister told her.  
“I realise, Narcissa, that this is a difficult situation. It might be possible for me to help Draco” Narcissa smiled at him but Bellatrix looked far from convinced.  
“Swear to it. Make the unbreakable vow…”

Severus returned to the gates of Hogwarts wondering when he’d gotten so stupid and irresponsible. He’d have to report this to Dumbledore but, first, he had to tend to his wounds. It took him only half an hour to realise he couldn’t reach the wounds on his back and, with his wand arm fractured, there wasn’t a lot he could do anyway, so he reluctantly made his way to the hospital wing. He walked in to the infirmary and looked around for Madame Pomfrey, but found only Hermione.  
“Miss Granger, I need to see Madame Pomfrey”  
“I’m sorry sir, she’s out”  
“Out? What do you mean out? That’s impossible, who’s watching the infirmary?”  
“I am, sir. I work here. Madame Pomfrey volunteers at St. Mungos a few times in the week now and, in her absence, I am the matron of Hogwarts”  
“nonsense, this is ridiculous. I will not be seen to by a student, especially a Gryffindor student. I will heal myself”  
“with all due respect, sir, you are holding your wand arm incredibly tightly to your chest. I can tell from over here that you’re injured. Please, sit down sir, I promise you that I am capable” Severus weighed up his options. He knew he couldn’t fix it himself, he’d already tried. He sighed internally and sat down on the nearest bed. Hermione looked momentarily shocked but quickly composed herself and scurried over to him. She waited for him to roll up his sleeve and carefully took his arm in her small hands, examining it. After a minute, she spoke  
“you’ve slightly fractured this bone here sir” she very lightly ran the tip of her pinkie finger up his arm “just hold very still.” She pulled out her wand and muttered an incantation. There was a slight crunch from her professor’s arm and he took it out of her hands, moving it around  
“thank you, Miss Granger, that will be all” he nodded at her and stood up  
“Professor, wait, that’s not all, is it? I can see the blood on your shirt, sir. Your back is bleeding, you’re hurt”  
“that is no concern of yours, Granger, you are over stepping your boundaries”  
“What do you mean, no concern of mine?” Hermione raised her voice slightly, forgetting for the moment that this was Professor Snape “I am the Hogwarts matron and, right now, you are my patient. You will be out of here a lot quicker and we will both never have to speak of this again if you would just cooperate” she took a deep breath, looked him in the eye, and said “professor, please remove your shirt.” Snape sighed, glaring at her, and muttered about ‘insufferable Gryffindors’, whilst he unbuttoned his shirt. He winced visibly as he pulled the shirt off of his back and Hermione gasped  
“Oh, professor, what have they done to you?” Snape suddenly felt very exposed, not only because he was sat, shirtless, in front of one of his students, but because of the obvious pain in her voice. He’d never had anyone feel sympathy for him before and he wasn’t quite sure how to react. Hermione struggled to hold back tears as she carefully cleaned out Snape’s wounds. It was obvious to her that he’d suffered some form of thrashing and the thought made her angry as well as upset. After she had cleansed his wounds, she applied Essence of Dittany and then a cream to prevent scarring. The entire time she worked Snape couldn’t help but notice the warmth in her hands. He then told himself he shouldn’t be thinking about her hands and tried to focus on anything other than Hermione Granger.  
As soon as Hermione finished, Snape rose from the bed, re-dressed and left the hospital wing without so much as a glance in Hermione’s direction, leaving her to stare at the door where he had just left.  
That night Hermione cried herself to sleep. Thinking that, if she were to ever find herself in another situation where she had to tend to Professor Snape, she wouldn’t be able to handle it.


	7. Chapter 7

The next week was torturous for Hermione. Not only because every time she closed her eyes she could see Professor Snape’s wounds but also because he seemed to be trying his hardest to be as cruel and unfair to Hermione as possible during his lessons. She thought that she had gotten past the point of letting Professor Snape’s hurtful comments get to her but, every lesson, she found herself holding back tears and resisting the urge to run from his classroom and never look back. The worst part was, the more upset Hermione got, the more hurtful his words became, it became a vicious cycle and Hermione wasn’t sure if she could take much more of it.

Hermione coped with the pain the only way she knew how – by throwing herself into her work. She was writing up her reports, when she came across the one name she was trying to avoid: Severus Snape. She’d obviously made notes about his case the night he’d come to her in the infirmary; after all, he was a patient – but, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she should write up his report. You’re being ridiculous, she told herself. He was a patient, of course she should write up his report. She shook her head at her own absurdity and finished her reports. She then dropped them off to Madame Pomfrey in the infirmary, before heading off her to her next class, Charms.

“Remember to put emphasis on your vowels, class. Incantations can be very tricky. If said incorrectly, they can be very dangerous” Professor Flitwick called to his class. They were suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door and everybody was surprised to see Professor Dumbledore enter the classroom  
“Excuse me for interrupting, Professor, but I was wondering if I might steal Hermione Granger from your lesson?”  
“Of course, Headmaster” surprised, Hermione picked up her bag and followed Professor Dumbledore out of the room  
“what is this about, Professor?”  
“You’ll find out soon enough, Miss Granger, please, follow me” Hermione followed him through the castle and found herself standing in his office. She was even more surprised to find Madame standing by the fireplace, waiting for them to return “please have a seat” Dumbledore motioned to the chairs in front of his desk and Hermione sat, obediently “Hermione” Madame Pomfrey spoke “we’ve called you in here to speak to you about Professor Snape”  
“Professor Snape?” Hermione asked, confused  
“yes” Dumbledore continued “Madame Pomfrey brought to my attention the fact that you treated Professor Snape, in the infirmary, last week, is that correct?”  
“Yes sir, I assumed he had just returned from Lord Voldemort” Madame Pomfrey winced but Dumbledore nodded for her to continue “he had fractured his wand arm and had deep cuts across his back, presumably from a whip, so I treated him and then he left”  
“Miss Granger, why did you not call Madame Pomfrey back from St. Mungos, to deal with Professor Snape?”  
“Because, sir, Professor Snape needed my help there and then, they were simple enough injuries and I knew I could help him. If I’d felt that anything was beyond my capabilities I’d have fetched Madame Pomfrey or yourself, immediately. Besides, Madame Pomfrey told me she believed that I was ‘more than capable’ of running that infirmary. Why should that not apply to a professor in need of my assistance?” Professor Dumbledore didn’t answer her  
“wait” Madame Pomfrey spoke “did you say you treated his back? Meaning he removed his shirt? How did you get him to do that? He has to be unconscious before even I can remove any of his clothing”  
“well, he was being stubborn and uncooperative. I knew his back was injured, I could see the blood on his shirt. So I told him the sooner he did what I asked, the sooner he could leave. Then I asked him to remove his shirt, and he did.” Madame Pomfrey looked astounded but Professor Dumbledore was smiling at Hermione as though he had discovered a gift  
“you know, Poppy, Miss Granger here could be good for Severus”  
“what do you mean, Albus?”  
“She is stubborn, hard-headed and intelligent. Everything Severus needs at this time. Plus, he is clearly willing to do what she asks. She’d be a good and trustworthy friend for him. He needs a friend like Hermione Granger.” Hermione felt slightly embarrassed at the thought of her and Professor Snape being friends. She could hardly picture him inviting her round for afternoon tea. She almost laughed at the thought  
“but, sir, surely you realise that Professor Snape would be absolutely appalled by the idea of being friends with me. I’m a student. Not only a student, a Gryffindor student!”  
“I’m sorry, Miss Granger, but I’ve made up my mind” he then turned his attention towards Madame Pomfrey “Poppy, from now on, Miss Granger here is to be Professor Snape’s healer whenever he reports to the infirmary.” Hermione, couldn’t picture her Professor taking this news very well, so she decided not to tell him. She would let him find out the next time he came to the hospital wing.  
The next morning at breakfast, Hermione received a letter, it read:  
  
_Dear Miss Granger,_  
_I am pleased to inform you that you have been personally chosen_  
_by Professor Slughorn to join a group of his elite students, otherwise_  
_known as the ‘Slug Club’. This letter is to formally invite you to a party_  
_he is hosting this Friday evening at 6:00pm. He apologises for the ill-timing_  
_of said party- as he normally has them at Christmas but was unfortunately_  
_taken ill around that time. He encourages all attendees to bring a guest_  
_He is hoping to see you there._  
_Best wishes,_  
_Minerva McGonagall._

Hermione read the letter and sighed. Great, a party, as if she wasn’t busy enough. She looked around the Gryffindor table and noticed that Ginny, Harry and a boy she knew to be named Cormack McLaggen had also received an invitation. At least she’d have Harry and Ginny there to talk to.  
      She was making her way to her first lesson of the day when she was stopped in the corridor by Cormack McLaggen  
“Hey, Granger Right? I noticed at breakfast that you had an invitation to Slughorn’s party, so I’ve decided to take you as my date, okay?” He smiled at her as though he expected her to swoon  
“actually, I don’t think...”  
“Great, I’ll meet you there, don’t be late and wear something pretty” he winked at her and walked away, leaving her stood there, angry and speechless.

Snape was stood alone in the corner at Slughorn’s party, watching the students. He never understood why he was forced to attend these events when it was so painfully obvious that he didn’t want to be here. Although not as much as Hermione didn’t want to be here. All night she had been ducking corners and hiding behind curtains, attempting to escape Cormack who always managed to find her  
“lighten up, princess, you’re here with me, you should feel honoured” he told her, leaning in for a kiss. Appalled, she tried to move her head and dodge his lips but that only seemed to make him angry. He grabbed her by the arms and held her in place, kissing her firmly; she struggled against his grip  
“well, well. What have we here?” Hermione sighed in relief and visibly relaxed, never had she been so grateful to hear Professor Snapes smooth, baritone voice. Cormack froze on the spot  
“Professor Snape I – I can…”  
“Silence, Mr McLaggen. I know exactly what was going on here. Miss Granger was looking particularly ravishing tonight and you couldn’t help but take advantage could you? You’ve just earned yourself detention with me for the rest of the year; now get out of my sight. You disgust me.” Snape looked more frightening than anyone had ever seen him. Cormack scurried away as quickly as possible, Hermione felt like hugging her Professor  
“thank you, sir, so much. You have no idea how much that meant to me. But, sir, why did you help me?”  
“Miss Granger, there may be a lot of rumours circulating about me, but I am not a fan of sexual assault” Hermione stared at him, lost for words. He stared back, curious as to what she might say next, but they were interrupted by the door swinging open and Mr Filch, the caretaker, came shuffling in, dragging along Draco Malfoy behind him  
“sir, I found this one lingering around outside, he claims he was invited”  
“fine, I was gate-crashing, are you happy?” Draco spat at him, Snape immediately walked over to the scene  
“Not to worry, Mr Filch, I’ll escort him out” Snape ushered Draco towards the door but, before he left, he turned around, making eye contact with Hermione. She smiled at him and he nodded in response, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Harry was suddenly at her side  
“that was suspicious. I’m telling you Hermione, Malfoy is up to something, I’m going to follow them and find out what’s going on, you coming?”  
“No, I think I’m going to go and say goodnight to Ginny and go to the library for a little while before I go to bed, be careful though Harry” they hugged goodbye and Hermione went to say goodnight to Ginny  
“are you sure you can’t stay?” Ginny asked  
“no, I don’t know why I came in the first place, to be honest. I’ll be in the library if anybody needs me” they both said goodnight and Hermione left the party.  
       As she turned the corner to head down the corridor, she almost collided with Professor Snape  
“Miss Granger, leaving so soon?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in question  
“yes, sir. I’m not really a party type of girl and, with the incident with Cormack earlier on, I thought it safer if I left”  
“yes, I’m quite looking forward to my detentions with Mr McLaggen” his lip curled, menacingly “he didn’t … touch you, did he?” Hermione was taken aback by his question, but shook her head  
“no, sir”  
“good”. Snape began to walk away, but Hermione called him back  
“wait, sir. I was just wondering, have the wounds healed on your back?” Snape’s expression changed to anger  
“that is no concern of yours, Granger”  
“actually sir, it is” she took a deep breath, she might as well tell him now “a few days ago, Professor Dumbledore called me into his office to ask me about the night I treated you and he told me that, from now on, I am to be your healer, should you report to the infirmary” Snape looked even angrier  
“five points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for your absurd and unnecessary lies!”  
“It’s true sir, I swear it. See for yourself if you don’t believe me”  
“what are you talking about girl?” He demanded  
“look into my mind. Use occlumency; see for yourself” Snape was completely shocked that a student would willingly give him consent to invade their minds, but he wasted no time in pulling out his wand and pointing it at her  
“ligillimens” he spoke. He entered her mind easily and effortlessly, wading through her memories, before finding the correct one  
_“Poppy, from now on, Miss Granger here is to be Professor Snape’s healer whenever he reports to the infirmary.”_ What is that old fool up to? He thought, and then concentrated back on Hermione’s memories. He could feel a particularly strong emotion. Embarrassment? He looked for the corresponding memory  
_“you know, Poppy, Miss Granger here could be good for Severus”_  
_“what do you mean, Albus?”_  
_“She is stubborn, hard-headed and intelligent. Everything Severus needs at this time. Plus, he is clearly willing to do what she asks. She’d be a good and trustworthy friend for him. He needs a friend like Hermione Granger.”_ Snape could feel Hermione’s embarrassment at the mention of being friends with him. As clear as though he had felt it himself. He recoiled from her mind as though he had been slapped. Of course she’d be embarrassed. Who would want to be friends with Severus Snape? He thought to himself. But he couldn’t understand why this hurt him the way it did  
“do you believe me now, Professor?” She asked, pulling him from his thoughts. He glared at her, coldly  
“I think I’ve seen enough, Miss Granger” he turned on his heel and strode away from her, leaving her stood alone, confused and ever so slightly hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione couldn’t understand what Professor Snape had seen in her memories to make him so angry. She wracked her brain constantly but came up with nothing every time – it began to frustrate her. Professor Snape had returned to insulting her during lessons every chance he got  
“Miss Granger” he’d called on her one lesson when she was trying to help Neville find the right page in his textbook “could you please enlighten us all as to what answer you will find in Longbottom’s book that is not in your own? Or is it that showing off simply doesn’t cut it anymore? Seems as though being an insufferable know-it-all no longer satisfies you.” Hermione desperately tried not to let his words get to her; to no avail. At the end of that lesson, she exited the classroom, furiously wiping tears away from her face.   
She wanted to confront her professor, demand to know what he’d seen but, every time she came close enough to him to see his dark, black eyes, her courage failed her. She decided she would wait for the next time he came to the infirmary; let him come to her. Every day after that, whenever she was working a shift in the infirmary, she found herself looking up at every person that walked the door, hoping it was him, it never was.  
Severus was sat in his chambers, grading first year assignments, when the mark on his arm started to burn. Now? He was being summoned now, on a school night? He found this incredibly unusual, but wasted no time in fetching his robes and mask and leaving the school grounds. He apparated to Malfoy Manor and was escorted by a house elf to the main dining room where everybody was sat around a long table, with Voldemort sat at the head of it, as soon as Snape took a seat, Voldemort addressed the group  
“I’m glad you could all make it here this evening. I have been informed that Bellatrix here has some news she would like to share” he motioned for Bellatrix to continue  
“thank you, My Lord. Last week, I visited Knockturn Alley and I paid a visit to Borgin and Burkes; I believe I found something quite interesting there: a Vanishing Cabinet. This cabinet has a twin, one that currently resides inside the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts. I propose that, if Draco could fix that cabinet, we could use the one in Borgin and Burkes as a passageway into the castle” Bellatrix bowed her head to her master as she finished speaking; Voldemort looked absolutely delighted  
“excellent work, Bella, truly excellent” she almost purred at her masters praise “the plan will be set in motion” he turned to face Snape “now, Severus, what do you have to report. This was it, the moment Snape had been dreading  
“My Lord, I regret to inform you that there has been no order meeting since I was last here. No plans have been made, as of yet” Voldemort clicked his tongue in disapproval   
“I am disappointed in you, Severus, it seems as though you need another lesson in what it means to disappoint me” Voldemort smiled, turning his wand on Snape and yelled “Crucio!”. He didn’t lift the curse for half an hour, even whilst allowing his followers to physically beat Snape black and blue, before sending him back to Hogwarts.  
He dragged his limp body up to the castle and, despite his ego, decided he had no choice but to go to the hospital wing. As soon as he stepped through the door to the infirmary, he collapsed onto the first bed he saw and Hermione went running over immediately  
“Professor!” she exclaimed, reaching his side “where does it hurt, sir?” She asked worried  
“my ribs mostly, and I think my leg may be broken” he gasped, struggling for breath. Hermione began to unbutton his shirt but stopped and flinched every time he winced in pain  
“erm, sir, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to vanish your clothes” she blushed furiously at the thought “it’s hurting you too much for me to remove them by hand” Snape sighed as though he expected this to come  
“then get on with it girl, quickly!” Hermione pulled out her wand and aimed it at her Professor, removing his clothes, leaving him in only his boxers. She gasped aloud at the sight before her. His entire ribcage was purple and bruised, as though he’d had a good kicking – Hermione was willing to bet that he had – it pained her to look at him like this but, what stood out most to her, were all the scars. They were spread across his chest, down his abdomen and up onto his shoulders – she couldn’t believe she failed to notice these the last time he was shirtless in her presence. The scars were raised from his flesh and were painfully visible against his pale skin. Trying to remain professional, she concentrated on the job at hand; fetching her heating cream (which is similar to a muggle version of Deep Heat, but stronger and more effective), along with a pain potion for his leg. Snape swallowed the potion gratefully and Hermione delicately spread the cream across his ribs.  
She worked in silence, resetting his broken leg and tending to his sprains. The whole time she worked, Snape watched her in wonder. When had she grown up so much? There was no doubt in his mind that this witch before him was no longer the bushy-haired, irritating know-it-all girl that he had once loathed to teach. She was now a woman. One that had to be admired as she effortlessly and calmly walked around his bed, mending her broken professor  
“Miss Granger, why are you helping me?” he asked, genuinely curious  
“I told you sir, Dumbledore’s orders”  
“but I’ve been so horrible to you, I’ve had you practically crying in my lessons”  
“well, you helped me at Slughorn’s party” she countered  
“but I’ve said such horrible things to you”  
“facta, non verba, professor” she whispered. Snape looked at her, astounded. Surely, she couldn’t know the password to his chambers. Was it possible she just simply knew the Latin phrase? He found that nothing about this witch surprised him anymore, he thought, suppressing a smile  
“why did you allow me to look into your mind that night?” he asked, after a few minutes of silence  
“because, it was the quickest way to get you to believe me” she thought for a minute “but, what I can’t understand, sir, is why you left so suddenly, why were you so angry? What did you see?” Snape didn’t answer for a long while. Hermione wasn’t sure he was going to answer her at all until, finally, he spoke, keeping his voice so low Hermione had to strain to hear him  
“you were embarrassed. In the headmaster’s office, when he asked you to befriend me. You were embarrassed at the thought of me” Hermione was sure she felt her heart break. She furiously blinked back tears  
“no, professor. I wasn’t embarrassed at the thought of being friends with you; I was embarrassed by the thought of your reaction. You had been so horrible to me during lessons. I knew that if Dumbledore mentioned to you the possibility of us being friends, you would degrade, insult and embarrass me all in the same sentence” Snape stayed quiet throughout the rest of his visit at the hospital wing. He realised she was right and, strangely, he felt guilt starting to rise in his chest. He kept his eyes on the floor until she finished working; he then stood up and left, without another word. Refusing to acknowledge her “goodnight, professor” as he closed the door.

Snape entered the headmasters office without knocking and sat in front of his desk, willing this to be over as quickly as possible  
“ah, Severus, I trust we have much to discuss” Snape wasted no time jumping straight in to explaining Bellatrix’s plan with the vanishing cabinet and the Dark Lord’s plan to have Death Eaters invade the castle  
“thank you, Severus, were going to have to keep a closer eye on young Mr Malfoy. Now, what of Miss Granger?” Snapes stomach lurched at the mention of her name, but he ignored it  
“what about her?” he asked, coldly  
“have you been to see her tonight? I know that you are injured” Snape sighed, annoyed  
“I hardly see how this is necessary or important but, yes, I reported to the infirmary upon my arrival to the castle, she treated my injuries, and I left. Is this really relevant, Albus?”  
“I’m afraid it is, Severus, as I am sure you are aware, I appointed Miss Granger the task of befriending you. I believe she would be a worthy confidante, and we have a challenging year ahead of us, it will do you no good to keep everything to yourself”  
“yes I’ve heard all about your plans for Miss Granger and myself, and, quite honestly, I find it outrageous, she is my student”  
“there are no rules forbidding a friendship between a student and a teacher, Severus, and I won’t change my mind. I have a good feeling about Miss Granger, now good night” Dumbledore dismissed him. Snape stood angrily, and stormed from the room, making a point to slam the door behind him. He failed to see the reasoning behind Dumbledore’s orders, so he elected to ignore him.


	9. Chapter 9

Hermione was getting dressed in her chambers the next morning feeling rather optimistic about the day ahead. She had seen a slight change in Professor Snape’s attitude last night that she couldn’t help but be thrilled about. She all but skipped out of her dorm and down to the Great Hall. She was surprised to see Harry there already, helping himself to some scrambled eggs, but she sat down next to him, pouring herself a glass of orange juice  
“morning ‘Mione” he said, before taking a sip of his tea  
“hey Harry, no Ron?”  
“No. He’s off somewhere with Lavender, honestly, it’s like they’re glued together” Hermione giggled at the look of disgust on his face  
“you’re just jealous because you wish you had that with Ginny. Don’t try to deny it, I’ve seen the way you’ve been watching her and Dean” Harry blushed but didn’t try to argue. After a few more mouthfuls of eggs, Harry said  
“the three of us really don’t spend enough time together anymore” Hermione sighed  
“I know, Harry, I really do miss spending time with you both, but, working in the Hospital wing, I have absolutely no free time”  
“yeah, I know what you mean, ever since I’ve started these lessons with Dumbledore and trying to get this memory from Slughorn, I feel like I haven’t had time to sit down”  
“wait, what?”  
“oh, I forgot you didn’t know! I’ve been going to Dumbledore’s office of an evening and he’s been showing me old memories of Voldemort when he was younger and of his parents. Then he showed me a memory of Slughorn when he was Voldemort’s teacher. He was in Slughorn’s office and he asked him about something called a Horcrux, the memory kind of went hazy then and Slughorn started shouting about how he didn’t know what it was but Dumbledore thinks that Slughorn tampered with that memory because he’s ashamed of the original one” Hermione couldn’t believe she had been so busy lately that she didn’t even know about something this important  
“how have you been trying to get this memory from him?”  
“I’ve been trying to get closer to him these last few weeks. Talking to him after class and joining his Slug Club. It doesn’t seem to be working though, I guess I just don’t have that much luck” Hermione thought about this for a second before an idea struck her  
“Harry, that’s it, luck! Didn’t you win a phial of Felix Felicis from Slughorn at the beginning of the year?”  
“Hermione you’re brilliant!” He grinned at her and they stood from the table heading to their first lesson: Defence.  
Walking into her defence classroom, Hermione’s wave of optimism returned at the thought of seeing her Professor. She had decided this morning that she would continue with Project panther, only this time she was going to change her course of action. She was going to follow her headmaster’s orders and try to befriend Professor Snape.  
Snape swept into the classroom then, silencing everyone. He took his usual stance at the front of the room, emitting his signature glare, causing everyone to squirm in their seats  
“take out your textbooks. You will read pages 37-45, making notes as you go along. Once you have you finished this you will review the notes you have made and summarise everything you have learned into paragraphs. There is no need for you to speak. Begin” Snape walked around his desk and sat down, wincing as he did. Hermione flinched slightly in response. She knew his pain was due to the bruising on his ribs. Snape must have noticed her flinching because he raised his eyebrow at her, daring her to comment. She quickly averted her eyes, reading her textbook – even though she knew it word for word. She didn’t look at him again for the remainder of the lesson.  
The rest of her lessons went by without a hitch – mainly because they were Snape-less – she thought, and she headed to the infirmary at the end of the school day, after getting changed.  
Hermione’s first patient was Lacey Beaman, who she recognised as the seventh year Hufflepuff she sat with at Christmas. She came in with three broken fingers after shutting them in a classroom door  
“thank you, Hermione, I’m so accident prone” she laughed after Hermione mended her fingers  
“no problem, Lacey. Would you like to come into the office for some tea? I’m having quite a slow evening, you're my first patient in over two hours”  
“sure, Hermione” she smiled at her. Hermione led her into the matrons office and poured them both some tea  
“so, Lacey, how are your lessons going?”  
“Great. I mean, they’re ridiculously stressful with N.E.W.T’s fast approaching, but I’m coping”  
The two girls sat and spoke for hours, with Hermione occasionally stepping out to see to a patient. By the end of the night Hermione knew Lacey’s favourite Lesson was Care of Magical Creatures; her least favourite was Defence, her favourite Professor was Hagrid; her least favourite was Binns and she loved chocolate frogs from Honeydukes. They spoke about their past crushes – Professor Lupin was mentioned more than once – and they both laughed at the embarrassment of their infatuation with Lockhart at the time. Hermione liked Lacey; she was warm and friendly; open and honest. Lacey left shortly before 11:00pm, at which point, Madame Pomfrey returned and dismissed Hermione for the night.  
On her way back to her dorm, she encountered Professor Snape on his way back to the dungeons  
“Miss Granger, what are you doing out of bed?”  
“I’m returning from the infirmary, sir. I had a late shift. Would you like to use Occlumency to believe me?” she teased. Snape’s lip almost twitched into a smile, but he supressed it  
“that will not be necessary. Now, return to your dorm, it is late”  
“with all due respect, sir, I’m a prefect, which means I’m free to roam the castle until midnight. After all, I do when I’m on patrol”  
“yes but you’re not on patrol, are you?” he challenged  
“no, sir, but, it’s a Friday night, I’m normally up a lot later than this anyway, and I have no homework to do. I think I’d much rather walk around the castle for a while until I have to go to bed” Snape pursed his lips and observed her for a while before sighing and said “follow me”. He turned on his heel and strode down the corridor. Despite her confusion, Hermione followed him as he led her through the castle, down to the dungeons, through his classroom and into his office. “Sit” he told her as he shut his office door behind them. He fetched a file from is drawers and placed it in front of her  
“second years quizzes. I trust you are confident enough to grade them whilst I finish grading these fifth year assignments”  
“yes, sir, but, why are you doing this?”  
“I’ve learnt from experience that a bored and restless Gryffindor can be a very dangerous thing, Miss Granger. I thought it best to keep you occupied until you go to bed”  
“thank you, sir” she smiled and he nodded in response.  
After grading three quizzes she looked up at him  
“sir, I have a question”  
“really? I’m shocked” he raised a mocking eyebrow but waited for her to continue, she glared at him for a brief second but it faded into a smile  
“how did you learn Occlumency?” The question took him by surprise but he set down his quill, sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest  
“is this your way of telling me you wish to learn?” He asked, sounding serious  
“no, sir. I mean, it is something I’d like to be able to do someday but I think it’s too complex for me right now” he made a slight noise of disbelief in the back of his throat at what she’d just said but quickly masked it with a cough – she ignored him and continued “but I was reading about it”  
“of course you were” she glared at him again and he almost smiled in response  
“as I was saying… I was reading about it and everything ever written about it emphasises how difficult, mentally exhausting, draining and, sometimes, painful it can be, but it never says anything about how one goes about learning it. I thought that I’d ask you because you’re supposed to be, arguably, the most accomplished Occlumens alive” Snape thought about this for a while  
“You are right that no textbook will teach you Occlumency, this is because it cannot be taught. One has to be born with the ability to occlude their minds, by this I mean not only controlling and concealing your emotions but completely clearing your mind of all thought, muggles call this meditation – you’d be surprised how good some Muggles would be at Occlumency if they knew what they were doing. But, if one cannot do this, then they cannot be an Occlumens. From there it is merely self-development, finding the best way for you to organise and shield your mind. Although Occlumency cannot be taught, that isn’t to say that it cannot be learned, one must teach themselves, so to speak. It is every bit as complex as you have read, Miss Granger, but, given time, I do believe you capable. Trying to teach Mr Potter last year was a waste of my time and his, as I so frequently tried to tell the headmaster. He is a ‘typical’ Gryffindor – his emotions are always painted across his face for the world to not only see, but to take advantage of. You, on the other hand, are more… subtle with your emotions” Hermione fought to keep the grin from her face at his offhand compliment, he’d never complimented her before, no matter how small  
“thank you, sir” Hermione dropped the conversation there, making a mental note to do further research into Occlumency, and continued grading. After a few minutes of an, oddly, comfortable silence, Snape spoke  
“Miss Granger, I have a question for you” Hermione looked up, genuinely surprised, but waited for him to speak “how do you feel about the headmasters request of our… friendship” he said the last word with slight distaste. Hermione thought about his question for a while, and he watched her intently, waiting for her answer  
“at first, I couldn’t understand it. I failed to see why he’d want me, of all people, to be your friend. But, upon reflection, it kind of makes sense to me” she said honestly – trying, and failing, to meet his gaze, instead, she spoke into her lap “I’m learning healing, so I’ll see you more than most, I’m, apparently, stubborn and hard-headed” she smiled, slightly, as did he “and you do need a friend. I won’t pretend to know, or even understand, the extent of the horrors you endure so frequently for the sake of all of our safety, but, from what little I have seen, I know that it’s a life that should not be lived alone. Not even you could live this life forever. Whether it be me or not, you will need a friend eventually, somebody to share that burden with and, as much as I know the thought appals you, I am willing to be that person” Snape watched her for a while longer, thinking about what she’d just said, not really having an answer. Part of him knew she was right; the other part didn’t want to admit it. But himself and Miss Granger? Friends? He didn’t know whether the thought made him want to laugh or cry. And, for her to offer her friendship, so openly and honestly made him slightly uncomfortable, not only because he’d never had anybody willingly be his friend since Lily, but because she was his sixth year student, and she was twenty years his junior, it was all wrong to him.  
Hermione knew she wouldn’t have an answer from him, she never really expected an answer either. She put down her quill and returned the quizzes to their files  
“it’s late” she said “I should head back to my dorm” he watched her walk towards the door  
“Miss Granger, would you return here tomorrow night after your shift to continue grading? I’m far too busy to do it all alone”  
“of course, Professor, goodnight” she smiled at him  
“goodnight, Miss Granger”  
Hermione walked back through the castle smiling, knowing that he’d listened to her and appeared to be trying. She’d had every right to feel optimistic this morning, she thought, laughing slightly to herself.


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione was quite disappointed that she didn’t have Defence today. She was anxious to see her Professor later tonight. She hoped he’d thought about what she said, even if he didn’t want to talk about it. She got dressed and made her way to the library, having a free period, she wanted to get a head start on her homework. She started with her defence homework – making a list of, what she believed to be, the most effective defence spells and how they were useful. She heard a tapping nearby and looked up, surprised to see an owl, with a note attached to its leg. She got up and opened the window, as soon as she untied the note from the owls’ leg, it flew away. The note read:  
“Miss Granger,  
If you would be so kind – I request your presence in my office before your shift this afternoon,  
regards,  
Albus Dumbledore”  
Hermione folded the parchment and put it away. She was both confused and slightly worried, but, her shift tonight didn’t start until 6:00 so she figured she had plenty of time to mentally prepare herself.  
She finished her defence essay and packed her stuff into her bag, before heading to her dorm for the last twenty minutes before her next lesson. Once sat on her bed she took out her healing notebook – she’d forgotten to make notes of last nights’ patients – she normally did them of an evening after her shift, but she got side-tracked last night by Professor Snape, the thought made her smile. After she’d finished she went back through the notes of her previous patients, knowing she was looking for a particular name. She found Professor Snapes file and read through it; bringing back bad memories as she did. She couldn’t stop thinking that he doesn’t deserve this, any of it. But this only added more fuel to the fire; made her more determined to succeed in her project. She put everything away and went to her first class, attempting to put Snape at the back of her mind, for now.  
At lunch time she decided to attend the Great Hall for lunch – she very rarely had lunch anymore, being so busy – normally waiting until dinner in the evening. She walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Harry and Ron  
“Hermione, what are you doing here?” Ron asked, surprised  
“oh, I’m sorry Ronald, I didn’t realise I needed your permission to eat” Ron’s ears turned pink  
“n-no, I’m sorry, I didn’t..” Hermione cut him off, laughing  
“I’m joking you moron” she playfully shoved his shoulder and he grinned at her, sheepishly  
“so, Hermione, what are you doing here?” Harry asked  
“I had some free time, I thought I’d come and have lunch with you guys” Harry smiled at her  
“oh, I forgot to ask you” Harry said “a few of us are doing a kind of duelling club tonight, similar to the DA last year, but more for fun, are you in?”  
“Sorry, Harry, I can’t, I’ll be with Professor Snape” she hadn’t realised what she’d said until Ron almost choked on his drink  
“Snape?! What the bloody hell are you doing with him?”  
“Will you keep your voice down? You know I work for the infirmary, I have to brew potions sometimes, he’s a busy man Ronald, he’s briefing me on the potions we need” she lied easily, not really feeling too bad about it  
“but he’s the defence teacher now, Slughorn teaches potions, why aren’t you going to him” Hermione cackled a laugh, without humour, raising her voice slightly  
“Slughorn is hardly a potions ‘master’ now is he? Professor Snape can brew potions in his sleep that Slughorn couldn’t even dream of brewing” she threw her fork onto her plate and stood from the table, leaving the Great Hall, suddenly remembering why she doesn’t do lunch.  
She went back to the common room whilst she waited for the end of lunch. She started to read a book she’d checked out of the library earlier, on occlumency. It really was fascinating; she might even ask Professor Snape to try to teach her when they both had some free time. She thought about Professor Snape for a while and how she’d defended him to Ron. She hadn’t how loudly she’d spoken. Practically the whole of the Great Hall must have heard her. Now everybody probably thought she was some lunatic in love with her greasy haired, hooked nose, Death Eater professor and she started laughing – hard. She felt like she was going mad, but she realised she didn’t really care what her peers thought of her. She was trying to help a lonely man who was in need of a friend. Did that make her a bad person? She contemplated this whilst she walked to her next lesson.  
At the end of the school day she sat in the common room, anxiously watching the clock, not bothering to engage in conversation with anybody. Time seemed to be ticking unusually fast and, at 5:30, Hermione reluctantly stood and went to the headmaster’s office  
“come in, Miss Granger” Dumbledore called, as she knocked on his door “have a seat” she sat in front of his desk, facing him “I have called you here to check on your progress with Professor Snape”  
“progress, sir?”  
“Yes, Miss Granger, progress. I trust you have done as I asked and befriended Professor Snape. Or, at least, attempted to” Hermione sighed  
“I’m trying to, but he’s a stubborn man. I spent some time with him last night, after my shift; I spoke to him about the whole friends thing. I know that he doesn’t like the idea but, he does seem to be thinking about it, I think”  
“excellent news, Miss Granger, I have the utmost faith in you. Now, I don’t want to make you late for your shift. I trust we’ll meet again soon” Hermione stood to leave and, as she did, the door opened and in walked Snape. He and Hermione shared brief eye-contact as she left; Snape took his usual stance in front of the Dumbledore’s fireplace  
“Albus, I have reason to believe I will be summoned tonight. We must discuss what I am to tell the Dark Lord”  
“what does he wish to know, Severus?”  
“I don’t think he is after any specific information, just anything of use. Anything to do with the Order or of any plans. I think he will be mostly focused on Draco’s plans and how he intends to kill you but, he will come to me eventually and, if I have nothing to offer him, Merlin knows what state I’ll return in”  
“you may tell him that Harry has succeeded in retrieving the memory I required from Horace, tell him Harry and myself believe we are one step closer to winning the war now, but, tell him I sound unsure when I tell you this. Make him think you believe me to be bluffing and, as for Draco Malfoy, you and I both know that he will not be able to kill me. Does Lord Voldemort wish you to be my assassin, should Draco fail?”  
“I believe that is his plan, yes”  
“then you must”  
“Albus…”  
“Severus, I will not argue with you about this, I am afraid I have done almost everything I can for the war now and, as you know, my time is already limited” he lifted his black, withered hand “killing me will be the only way to ensure you gain Voldemort’s full trust, if all goes to plan, he will then appoint you as headmaster of Hogwarts, only then will you be able to protect its’ students. Now, do I have your word?”  
“As you wish” Snape snarled and left quickly. He checked his watch, 7:30 – he was usually summoned around 8:00 – he had a quick stop to make before he prepared to head to Malfoy Manor.  
He entered the infirmary and the first sight he saw was Hermione, fixing Harry’s bleeding head, with Ron at his side, looking both worried and proud.  
“-knew this duelling club would be a bad idea. Good shot though, Ron”  
“he got lucky” Harry said. Snape cleared his throat and the three of them turned to look at him, surprised  
“Miss Granger, may I have a word?” He walked into the matron’s office and Hermione followed him in, closing the door behind her. The two boys looked at each other, confused, and both scrambled towards the office, pressing their ears against the door to listen  
“Miss Granger, I am afraid I’m going to have to postpone tonight’s plans”  
“what, why?” She sounded disappointed, Harry and Ron noted  
“I have other… unforeseen plans” he subconsciously touched his forearm and Hermione immediately understood. She tried not to look disappointed, but failed; Snape sighed, slightly annoyed “I expect to see you tomorrow night to finish your grading. I do hate a job left unfinished” she smiled at him  
“yes, sir, of course and, sir, please be careful” he looked at her for a moment before walking towards the door. Harry and Ron scrambled away quickly, trying to act as casual as possible. Snape didn’t look at them as he left. Hermione walked back over to the pair and continued to work on Harry’s head, not mentioning her encounter with their Professor and the boys seemed even more reluctant to talk about it. In fact they didn’t say another word to her other than ‘thank you’ as they left the infirmary  
“what the bloody hell was that all about?” Ron asked Harry, once outside  
“I have no idea, but it was weird. It’s like they’re sneaking around or something…”   
Snape wasn’t at Malfoy Manor for very long. As he predicted, Voldemort was more interested in Draco’s plans. He sat through the usual Death Eater meeting and, after deeming Snape’s information adequate, he was dismissed. He returned to Hogwarts around 10:00 and, on his way back to his chambers, he met Hermione on her way from the infirmary. Of course, just my luck, he thought  
“hello, Professor”  
“Miss Granger, I am in no mood for grading papers tonight”  
“n-no sir. That’s not what I wanted. I was just being… friendly” he scoffed at her choice of word  
“yes, I heard you were very ‘friendly’ towards me at lunch today” he smirked, his expression anything but friendly. This was what Snape did, who he was. He poked and prodded at peoples’ nerves and emotions until they snapped and ran. It was a sure way to keep people out; he didn’t know how to turn it off  
“what are you talking about?” She asked, her voice shaking and her heart rate increasing. His lip curled in a mocking way  
“you should really learn to keep your voice down when having a little domestic with Mr Weasley. It’s all everybody has been speaking about in my classes all afternoon. How did it go? ‘Professor Snape can brew potions in his sleep that Slughorn couldn’t even dream of brewing” he imitated, Hermione blushed furiously  
“I – erm, I should head back to my dorm”  
“yes goodnight, Miss Granger” she almost ran back to her dorm and, once she’d finally collapsed onto her bed she let the tears fall. Never had she felt so humiliated. It hardly bothered her what her peers thought but, for a reason unknown to her, it bothered her that Professor Snape not only knew, but mocked her or it. She didn’t think she could bear to look at him again; she knew for certain that there was no way she was going to his office tomorrow night. She was through defending professor Snape. The thought slightly upset her but he was plain and simply an utter bastard. You knew this when you took on this project, she reminded herself but she shook her head. It didn’t matter anymore. If Professor Snape didn’t want her help, or her friendship, then there wasn’t a lot that she could do.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione couldn't understand Professor Snape's sudden change - she really thought (or rather, hoped) that he was trying. She felt incredibly humiliated and angry at him for being an utter bastard - she told herself she shouldn't have been surprised by his cruelness, really, but she couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed. She couldn't believe how stupid she felt for truly believing he could change - she should have known better.  
She sighed and sat up in bed. For the first time this year she actually felt grateful that she didn't have a shift in the infirmary tonight. Today was a Saturday and she could spend the whole day lounging to her hearts content. She remembered there was a Hogsmeade trip today and decided to tag along with Harry and Ron. It was time to start thinking of herself first. She was going to stop trying with Professor Snape, she was foolish to think she could have any kind of impact on his life. Insufferable Gryffindor, she scolded herself. Snape already had his path laid out for him and there was nothing that Hermione or anybody else could do; Dumbledore would just have to accept that. She also missed spending time with Harry and Ron. She felt quite guilty for abandoning them, especially with the threat of war looming closer and closer, but she knew they understood.  
Hermione quickly got dressed and went to the Great Hall for breakfast  
"good morning" she greeted them, cheerfully. They both avoided her eyes slightly and mumbled their greetings  
"what's wrong?" She asked  
"nothing 'Mione" Harry smiled at her and she let it drop, for now  
"Ok... so, I was wondering if you guys were going to Hogsmeade today, and if I could come with you?"  
"Of course you can, Hermione!" Ron beamed at her; they all ate their breakfasts in a hurry and left immediately.

No matter how many times Hermione made the short trip to Hogsmeade, to her, it never got any less beautiful, especially at this time of year. The trees were starting to blossom; the last remains of the winter snow melting away and the birds sang with, what could only be described as, contented joy; the gentle breeze was playing with a few of her curls - this really was her definition of perfect.  
The first place they all went to was Zonco's joke shop but, after visiting Weasley's Wizards Wheezes, before the start of the school year, Zonco's didn't seem that impressive anymore. All Hermione ended up buying, whilst at Hogsmeade, was a charmed quill that automatically wrote in shorthand, before the three of them found themselves in the Three Broomsticks with a pint of Butterbeer each. Hermione still couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off with the boys  
"Okay, what's wrong with you two?"  
"there's nothing wrong, Hermione" Ron assured  
"oh, don't give me that rubbish!" She told them; Harry sighed  
"okay, promise you won't get mad?... When Snape came to speak to you in the Infirmary, last night, we were listening at the door. We were just worried about you, we heard him talking about cancelling your plans or something, and we just thought it was strange, that's all" Hermione's initial reaction was to be angry at them but, in all honesty, she'd have done the same thing  
"well, I appreciate your concern but, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I won't be seeing him any longer"  
"what? You weren't, like, together, were you?" Ron asked  
"don't be ridiculous, Ronald, why on earth would I be with a man like him?" They all laughed, but Hermione felt slightly guilty about what she'd said.

Back at the castle, Hermione announced that she was going up to the library and told the boys that she'd meet them in the Great Hall for dinner. As she approached her favourite table over by the window she noticed Lacey sitting there  
"Hey, Lacey" she greeted  
"Hermione! Hey" she smiled at her. Hermione sat at the table and the two girls chatted for what seemed like hours  
"Hermione? Lacey asked, seemingly suddenly a bit nervous "sorry if this is a bit personal but, is everything okay? You seem slightly... distracted" Hermione sighed and played with the ends of her curls - an old habit. She was dying to get this off of her chest and she really felt like she could trust Lacey  
"by any chance, did you happen to hear my little outburst in the Great Hall, the other day?"  
"When you were shouting about how great Snape is? I wasn't there but I heard about it" fantastic, Hermione thought  
"yeah, that one. This is private, though. Promise me that this stays between us?"  
"Of course"  
"well, Professor Snape is a very important man, he does a lot of work for the upcoming war, I can't give you anymore details about that, but we all owe a lot to him. Anyway, the life he leads is incredibly lonely. I couldn't even imagine living the way he does, so, Professor Dumbledore asked me to try to become friends with Professor Snape, crazy I know, but the headmaster seems to think I'd be a good friend for him. I tried being his friend, I really did and, for a while, I actually believed he was trying, but it turned out he was still the same heartless bastard he's always been. I know it shouldn't have upset me the way it has. I guess I just had more faith in him than this, and I really thought I could help him" Hermione exhaled deeply, she hadn't realised how badly she'd needed to speak to somebody about this. Lacey watched her for a while absorbing all of this information, before speaking  
"I've always had suspicions about his true role. There was no way he's just a professor here purely for the enjoyment of teaching; he always looks as though he'd rather be anywhere else, and so desperately wants to leave, but can't. As for being his friend, you're right, that is crazy, but Dumbledore seems to think that it's a good idea and, if we can't trust the headmaster, who can we trust? You need to remember that this is Snape, Hermione. Sure, he's an arsehole, but he's also been an arsehole longer than we've been alive, that's not just going to change overnight. If you truly believe that you can do this, or that it's worth it - that he's worth it - you can't give up this easily" Hermione felt incredibly inspired and motivated by Lacey's words; she was right. This was professor Snape, of course he wasn't going to just suddenly invite Hermione over for tea to start sharing secrets and be best friends. She felt incredibly ridiculous and pathetic at how quickly and easily she'd thrown in the towel. A project like this was going to take persistence and a strong will. With a bounce in her step, Hermione hugged Lacey and made her way down to the Great Hall for dinner, deciding it would be best to keep this away from Harry and Ron. 

As usual, Snape left dinner early (Hermione had noticed over the last week that he doesn't eat very much) she was only halfway through her lamb chops when he rose from the staff table and stalked away. She waited for fifteen minutes, after his departure, before excusing herself, telling the boys she had to finish her assignment in the library, after promising Harry that she'd join his duelling club next week, providing she didn't have a shift.  
Down in the dungeons, she felt slightly uneasy. She wasn't sure whether it was the chill that ran through the halls, or just the general atmosphere that unsettled her stomach but, as soon as she reached Snape's office, she quickly knocked before she had time to change her mind  
"enter" he called. Hermione's stomach was in knots as she pushed open the heavy door, closing it behind her  
"Miss Granger" he raised an eyebrow, it was clear he was surprised to see her  
"good evening, sir"  
"what are you doing here?"  
"I'm here to finish grading, remember?" He exhaled through his nose  
"you really are a stubborn little witch, aren't you? Very well then, have a seat" Hermione sat in the chair in front of his desk and he handed her the file.  
They worked in silence for the next half an hour, much to Hermione's frustration. Generally, she loved to work in silence, but she came here to talk to him, not to work. She thought about what Lacey had said. This was going to take time - she was willing to work in silence for days, if that's what it would take. 

Snape looked up at her, only slightly lifting his eyes, not wanting to be too obvious. She really was stubborn. She seemed slightly uncomfortable but incredibly determined - it had to be admired, really. He didn't know of another student, in all his years of teaching, that would willingly, and persistently, spend time with him. It must be because Dumbledore had asked, he thought. Pretentious Gryffindor loyalty never wavered from their beloved headmaster. He wondered just how far she was willing to go, how much of his cruelty she would take, under the headmasters instruction. He decided to test it  
"Miss Granger, do hurry up with those quizzes. I assigned you this task because you claimed to be competent enough for it. Do not make me regret my decision" she looked slightly shocked and hurt for a second before composing herself and saying "yes, sir" indifferently, as if he'd merely commented on the weather. He curled his lip menacingly; he loved a challenge.  
Throughout the rest of the evening he made comments about her work, her intelligence and, occasionally, her appearance and each time she shrugged it off casually. As his insults grew worse, she seemed to care less and less, to the point where she was barely listening to him. For the first time in his life, Severus Snape was at a loss for words - and at the hands of this know-it-all Gryffindor. When had she grown so confident? Hermione Granger was no longer afraid of Professor Snape - somehow, he'd managed to open himself to her enough for her to see straight through his harsh exterior. How had he been so careless?  
"Damn it girl! What's the matter with you?" He snarled  
"sir?"  
"A month ago, I'd have of had you running from my classroom in tears after insulting your work! Where has this sudden boldness and noble stupidity sprung from?" He looked truly exasperated  
"I'd hardly call it noble stupidity, Professor - I'd call it decent humanity. Like I told you the other night, your life isn't one which should be lived in solitude. I know what you've been doing... insulting me to drive me away, normally, it would work, but I know that you aren't doing it out of spite, or just for the sake of being cruel. It is simply who you are, or, rather, who you have been conditioned to be, which is why I'm overlooking it" he looked slightly annoyed  
"you know, Miss Granger, your stubborn bravery and sheer stupidity might just get you killed someday" she smiled gently  
"perhaps, sir, but, so might yours. In fact, yours seems more likely and, wouldn't you like to have somebody that would mourn you?" Hermione looked so sincere that Snape momentarily lost his voice. He pictured Hermione, bent over a headstone bearing the name Severus Snape, crying over it; grieving him, wishing he was still alive. He felt his heart lurch slightly. The thought of somebody actually missing him, once he'd gone, wasn't something he knew he'd needed, until now.  
Hermione knew what she'd said had hit a nerve due to his long silence and the hint of pain in his eyes. She hadn't been lying, though. She wasn't stupid, she knew it was highly likely that he would die in the war. Honestly, it was surprising (and rather impressive) that he'd maintained his cover for this long, being so high in Voldermort's inner circle. It was only a matter of time before he was discovered as a traitor and killed for his treason, but, Hermione would miss him; she'd mourn him, she'd tell everybody how brave a man he was, how much he'd done for the war and how they all owed their lives to him. She'd shout it from the top of the castle, if she had to  
"you'd really mourn me?" He asked suddenly, seeming so small in that moment, so unsure and afraid  
"of course I would, if you'd let me" she told him. Snape's eyes went blank for a moment, thinking, before he sniffed sharply, bringing himself back to reality  
"Well, I can hardly control what you can and can't do once I'm dead, can I? Now, if you would, leave me in peace to work alone, I'll never finish my grading if you keep interrupting me with your pointless chatter. Take those quizzes back to your dorm; return them to me tomorrow, complete. Now, goodnight" he held the door open, willing her to go through it  
"goodnight, sir" she said, as she left. He closed the door behind her and sat back at his desk, with no intention of grading papers. What an odd woman, he thought. Though the thought of Hermione Granger mourning him was an unusual one, surprisingly, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.


	12. Chapter 12

The following morning Snape woke confused with a headache. He carefully opened his eyes, adjusting to the light - blinking rapidly as he did, and realised that he'd slept on his armchair next to the fire. On the floor next to him was an empty bottle of Firewhisky. Ah, that's right; after Granger had left last night he'd attempted to solve his problems the only way he knew how - the only think his father had ever taught him: drinking. Granger had really struck a nerve with him last night. All he'd ever wanted his whole life was somebody to value him, appreciate him, be his friend. She offered him all of this yet he continued to push her away. She's your student! He argued with himself, twenty years your junior and a Gryffindor! She is seventeen though, his subconscious retaliated, meaning that she is of age. He sighed and rubbed his face, attempting to wake himself up. Granger was the first person to ever willingly be his friend since Lily. No, he wouldn't compare her to Lily; nobody could compare. Perhaps that what intrigued him about Granger, the similarities her and Lily share: both hard-headed, intelligent, strong willed, muggleborn Gryffindors. If there was a God, maybe he'd sent Granger here to taunt him, to give him a daily reminder of Lily. Seems exactly the type of thing that so called 'benevolent' bastard would do, he thought. He ran his fingers through his greasy hair and reluctantly dragged himself down the the Great Hall for breakfast. Teachers weren't necessarily permitted to attend breakfast at weekends but Snape preferred to keep a close eye on the student body. After all, he was the head of Slytherin house and he knew first hand how dangerous students could be when left unsupervised.   
He was sat at the head table, scowling into his porridge, when he heard the familiar voices of the 'Golden Trio' entering the Great Hall. He watched as they took their seats at Gryffindor table. Hermione looked up at him and smiled a warm, genuine smile - to which he nodded back in acknowledgement. A couple of seats down Dumbledore chuckled lightly in amusement; he'd obviously witnessed their brief interaction. Annoyed, Snape rose from his seat and stalked back to his chambers. Hermione watched him leave, confused. 

Once back in his office, Snape sat at his desk to continue grading. He always regretted how much homework he handed out when it came time to mark it. Perhaps I could split some of this work with Granger, he thought. He then mentally scolded himself for thinking about her - damn that girl. He really ought to put a stop to all of this, it had gone too far already, it wasn't appropriate. What had gone too far? What wasn't appropriate? His subconscious argued back. The girl was a healing apprentice, he was obviously going to see her at some point; she's highly intelligent- though he loathes to admit it - and he has far too much work, which she is more than capable of doing for him; it only made sense. No, this justification and reasoning was exactly why it needed to be stopped. He rubbed his face, sighing, beyond exasperated.   
Just as he was about to give up grading and retire back to his arm chair and Firewhisky, there was a knock at his office door  
"Enter" he called. Granger, of course. Who else would it be? Snape sat in silence, waiting for her to speak first  
"I've finished with these quizzes, sir" she told him. She seemed calm and relaxed, which annoyed him  
"Put them on my desk, I have some more for you" Hermione dropped the file on his desk and he handed her a new one; she continued standing there, now looking slightly nervous  
"Are you going to just stand there, looking lost, or are you going to ask me the question that you're obviously so desperate to ask?" He snapped  
"I was just wondering, sir, whether I'd be able to work on here for a while? The common room is full and I can barely hear myself think in there" lucky you, he thought   
"You really are relentless, aren't you? Very well, you may stay, on the condition that you remain quiet and allow me to work in peace"  
"Of course, sir, she obliged happily and sat across from him. He had a horrible feeling that she was becoming far too comfortable around him, it unnerved him. They worked in silence for the next forty five minutes before Hermione inevitable spoke  
"Are you looking forward to the Easter holidays, sir?" She knew that this was a poor attempt at conversation, but it was all she could come up with   
"I knew the silence was too good to last. No, Miss Granger, I'm not"  
"Really?" She asked, genuinely surprised "I thought you'd love two weeks away from students" she joked  
"I hate the holidays just as much as I hate teachings. It means I'm more ... available" Hermione was confused for a moment before she realised he meant he was more available for Lord Voldemort  
"Oh" she said in a whisper, desperate to change the subject "is teaching really that bad?"   
"For those that enjoy it no, I suppose not, I, on the other hand, definitely do not enjoy it"  
"Then why do you do it?"   
"Believe me, were it up to me, I wouldn't. I'd much prefer to be in a little house somewhere creating new options and working in peace. However, the universe is seldom so kind to people like me"  
"What is it you love about potions so much?" Snape didn't have to think about this one, he knew the answer instantly, as though he'd answered it many times before  
"The delicacy of it. It takes a lot of patience and control. It's the one aspect of my life I actually have full control of, and I've always had a natural talent for it. The day I stop making potions is the day I'm no longer relevant" Hermione felt astounded by how honestly and openly he'd answered the question  
"I don't think you'll ever stop being relevant, sir. Your skills definitely aren't limited to your potion making"  
"No?" He raised an amused eyebrow at her "and what makes you say that?"  
"You really have no idea the significance of the role you play in this war do you?" Snape scoffed at her  
"Oh, believe me, Miss Granger, I hold no more significance than any other member of the order. We're all merely pawns for Albus to move and sacrifice as he sees fit. The day will come for me to be strategically killed so that our knight Harry Potter can come along and win the game"  
"How can you say that?" Hermione began getting defensive, her voice slowly raising, reaching its crescendo of hard-headed, insufferable bossiness "you're the most important person we have in this war. Whether Harry is the 'Chosen One' or not, we'd all probably be dead by now if it weren't for you!"  
"Such Gryffindor loyalty, it's quite touching really" he sneered and Hermione's face turned red  
"Stop blaming everything I say on me being a Gryffindor!" She warned him "it wouldn't matter if I were a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or even Slytherin, I'd still be sat here telling you the same thing. If we lost you, we'd lose the war, the headmaster said that himself!"  
"And when exactly did Dumbledore tell you this?" Snape looked genuinely curious now and Hermione's cheeks turned a light shade of pink  
"He didn't exactly tell me. I was sort of... eavesdropping"  
"I find it hard to believe that you are capable of such acts of mischief without blindly following Potter or his sidekick, Weasley"  
"Have a look then" she challenged. Snape knew exactly what she meant. This was the second time she'd given him permission to invade her mind. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist  
"Legillimens" he spoke softly, looking into her eyes. He entered her mind easily, finding the memory he wanted.   
He saw Granger, patrolling the corridor at night, stopping his patronus and then frantically running to Dumbledore for help, worry evident in her mind. He watched as she ran back up to Gryffindor tower, receiving Potter's invisibility cloak and waiting by the front door for them. He hadn't realised just how bad of a state he'd returned in that night as he watched his own unconscious body limply levitate behind Dumbledore up to the hospital wing. He almost laughed as he watched Hermione press her ear against the door - "I'm afraid that's a chance I, and Severus, are both willing to take ... if we lose Severus now, we lose the war" he heard the headmaster say. He had to admit, he genuinely believed Granger had been lying. The memory started to shift slightly and he could feel Granger's protests against him seeing anymore. Curious, he easily pushed past her resistance to continue wading through her mind. He felt her determination to learn why he'd returned so ill that night; observed as she sat in Madame Pomfrey's office, asking about an apprenticeship, doing all of this only to get closer to him to learn more information for 'Project Panther' as she'd apparently named it. The memory shifted again; he was now stood in his old potions classroom, Hermione was stood over a cauldron brewing what he recognised as dreamless sleep. He heard the voices of Albus and Minerva outside the classroom and followed Hermione as she ran from the room to, once again, eavesdrop. So, she knew the password to his chambers? He wasn't even surprised anymore. Once again the scene shifted in front of him and this time he was stood in his own bedroom. He watched in disbelief as Hermione tended to his unconscious form. He felt his stomach turn and, although he knew he should be angry with her for breaking into his rooms, he felt nothing but gratitude - though he wouldn't admit it. The following memories whirled past him in a blur: how relieved she felt when he rescued her from McLaggen at Slughorn's part, her excitement for 'Project Panther' and how her heart would speed up a little every time she saw him; how devastated she was when he was cruel to her during lessons, how her heart broke for him the first time she tended to his wounds in the Infirmary (he also noted how her mouth went slightly dry when he removed his shirt - though she hadn't noticed at the time or, rather, she'd elected to ignore it) how much she loves to spend time with him and, what surprised him the most: how much she adores his voice. 

Snape pulled out from Hermione's mind and remained silent, watching her for a moment. She looked slightly ashamed and embarrassed   
"Did you just see everything that I did?"she asked, worried  
"Yes" he whispered  
Snape didn't know what to think or feel. He concluded that the girl was developing feelings for him - and that she hasn't realised yet, or won't admit it to herself, but there was no mistaking it. He needed to think  
"Miss Granger, please return to your dorm. I have a lot of work to do"  
"But sir, I..."  
"Please, Hermione" he sighed. Hermione froze. Had she heard that correctly? He'd never called her anything other than Granger. Though she didn't want to leave him, she knew she had to. Without saying another word, she stood up and left his office, repeating her name in his beautiful voice over and over in her head. Once she'd closed the door Snape exhaled, as though he'd been holding his breath, and dropped his head into his hands. What the hell was he going to do?


	13. Chapter 13

It had been little over a week since Severus had last seen Hermione but the memories from that night were still fresh in his mind. Images of her sneaking into his chambers in the middle of the night to check on him haunted his dreams, and once, he'd woken at 2:00am and, though he wouldn't admit it, he'd actually been disappointed to not find her there. It was driving him insane. Why him? He kept asking himself. Of all the people at Hogwarts, students and faculty, why had she chosen him, arguably the least appealing? He was starting to realise he would never understand the puzzle that was Hermione Granger, and it frustrated him immensely. 

It was the first day of the Easter holidays and Harry, Ron and Hermione were sat at the table of 12 Grimmauld Place whilst Mrs Weasley was serving breakfast. Hermione loved it here. The atmosphere, the people; it was always so loud, so busy. People squeezing past each other in the hallways and getting jammed on the stairs. Entirely the opposite to the household she'd grown up in as a child. Always wandering around the house alone, desperately seeking something to occupy her, already intelligent, mind. She absolutely adored this environment and spent as many of her holidays here as possible. It was noticeably more dismal here since Sirius' death, but, that was expected. She was relieved when Harry told Dumbledore he could continue to use it as a safe house and she realised, only slightly ashamed, that she was more worried about losing this house than she was upset about Sirius' passing. She'd never been overly keen on Sirius. She knew he was innocent - she'd never questioned that - but she was always slightly uneasy in his presence ever since that night that they had rescued him on Buckbeak and he'd been far too comfortable gripping on to her waist, for her liking. She had loved Sirius the way you would love a weird uncle. She wouldn't say a bad word against him, but she wouldn't sit in a room alone with him either. 

She was sat at the table eating her scrambled eggs, simultaneously doing her homework when Ron looked at her in disgust   
"You're doing homework? It's the holidays! Here, have an Easter Egg" Ron pushed his half eaten Easter Egg that he called breakfast towards her and she swatted away his hand, annoyed  
"Yes, I'm doing homework Ron, and you should be too. The end of year exams are fast approaching"  
"Oh, don't give me that rubbish about end of year exams. They're just a formality. They're-"  
"-incredibly important, Mr Weasley, or are you uninterested in securing your place in seventh year? I must say some of your Professors will be bitterly disappointed - not that I can speak for myself- and what on earth would Harry Potter do without his sidekick?" They all looked towards the door to see the looming figure of Professor Snape. Arms crossed, leaning on the doorframe; his usual snare written across his face. Hermione sniggered quietly and Snape looked at her, completely emotionless, until the headmaster entered the kitchen behind him  
"Ah, Severus, I'm glad you're here. Shall we head to the library? We have much to discuss" Hermione hoped that he'd look at her again. She needed to speak to him; explain everything he'd seen in her mind that night. The trouble was, she had no idea how to explain it. What was worrying most of all was his silence. Surely he must be angry, everything he'd seen and felt. He'd learnt that she had feelings for him, something she'd only recently learnt herself but, looking back on the memories, it must have been easy to deduce. The only reason she hadn't realised sooner was because she'd been ignoring the feelings, squashing them down hoping that would cause them to cease existing. But the problem remained that she had no clue how to approach the subject. She didn't think he'd take too kindly to her ambushing him, forcing him to listen. Even if she did, what would she say? A small part of her wished she never had to see him again; hopefully the problem would disappear but she knew that wasn't an option. No, she'd have to figure this one out, and hopefully soon. 

Dumbledore opened the door to the library and motioned for Severus to step in first. Walking over the threshold Snape took a minute to stop and inhale deeply, having a quick glance around the room. The library was his favourite room in the miserable home that was Grimmauld Place, though he knew it was wasted here. All these teenagers and dull order members, no, no one would truly appreciate this beautiful library the way he would. Except perhaps Hermione, he thought. Granger, he corrected himself, her name was Granger. And he shouldn't even be thinking about her at all!  
"Take a seat, Severus" the head master told him  
"No thank you, I'd rather stand"  
"Very well. What was it you wished to see me about?"  
"As you know, the Easter Holidays are the most common time for Muggle raids amongst the Death Eaters. I suspect more than once this holiday I shall be summoned. The first of which will most likely be tonight, as there has been little activity over these past few weeks"  
"But you don't know of any definite plans?"  
"No, like I said. All I know is that these holidays are most common for muggle raids and you should expect me to be summoned soon"  
"Thank you for the pre-warning Severus, as always, do what is necessary to maintain your cover but do not forget your humanity along the way. You are not a murderer. I would also like you to report back here after any and all meetings and or raids this holiday" Snape scoffed at him  
"Why on earth would I want to come back to this depressing house of bereavement after watching the murder of innocent muggles?"  
"Because you cannot return to Hogwarts, Madame Pomfrey is working at St. Mungos during the holidays and Miss Granger is your appointed healer"  
"And what makes you think I'd need a healer?" He intervened   
"I'm just taking extra precaution" Snape opened his mouth to protest but Dumbledore stopped him "I will not argue about this Severus. You are either with us; or you are against us"  
"Fine" he snapped, stalking out of the room annoyed.

Hermione watched her Professor leave, disappointed that she hadn't been able to speak to him. Or rather, that she still hadn't thought of what to say. Come on Granger, think! She scolded herself but it didn't matter how many times she mentally shouted to herself, each time she came up with nothing. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Why did she get herself into these situations?  
As always, throughout the day, the house was full of order members coming and going and, although she loved the contrast to her usual quiet home, she could only take so much of Tonk's tripping over everything and the persistent thud of Moody's stick. So, she found herself in the one room she knew no one else would bother going: the library. She let the welcomed silence envelop her like a blanket as she browsed through the endless streams of books. One in particular stood out to her: "Occlumency: silencing your minds eye". Intrigued, she sat down on the arm chair next to the fireplace and turned to the first page. 

It was 7:00pm when Snape was inevitably summoned. Though he'd been expecting it, a small part of him had hoped he was wrong. Emptying his mind, he retrieved his cloak and mask, apparating to Malfoy Manor. Upon arrival he refused the assistance of the House Elf and made his own way to, what he knew was, Voldemort's throne room. He was one of the last people to enter and he joined the back of the sea of Death Eater's all obediently watching their master. Waiting for him to speak  
"Welcome, friends. Tonight is a very special night for you all, I have a gift for you. I know that you are all itching to go out and cause some destruction" he chuckled, approvingly "and I have forbidden it up to now. But, tonight I am giving you all permission to, shall we say, let loose" the room erupted into cheers and they all started to disapparate to various parts of the country. Snape decided to follow Dolohov. He neither liked him nor trusted him, he was always bound to do something stupid. He knew exactly where Dolohov's first stop would be, a small muggle suburb where he always started his paths of destruction. He apparated there first and ducked behind a wall, to not be seen. He watched in distaste as Dolohov strolled down the street casually, blowing up houses and killing every muggle in sight. Classy, Snape thought. He followed him around a corner onto the next street and watched as he stopped in front of a house, looking up into the bedroom window. Snape followed his gaze and noticed a woman stood there, in front of the television. She looked oddly familiar. Mouse brown, slightly bushy hair, chocolate brown eyes. It was Mrs Granger, Hermione Granger's mother, it had to be. The resemblance was unmistakeable. He watched in horror as Dolohov raised his wand, preparing to destroy the house  
"Expelliarmus" Snape shouted, disarming him, Dolohov span around   
"Snape? What the bloody hell are you playing at?"  
"Once again Dolohov your stupidity and carelessness amazes me. Do you realise the house you were just about to destroy is the house of Hermione Granger? One of Harry Potter's best and most loyal friends. Merlin knows the uproar you could have caused had you killed her parents!"  
"Well we'll just see what our master has to say about this shall we?" Dolohov grabbed his forearm and apparated them both back to Malfoy Manor. Voldemort looked at them, surprised  
"My Lord" Dolohov started, without giving Snape a chance to speak "I was simply taking advantage of the kind gift you bestowed upon us earlier. I was going to kill those filthy muggles when Snape here disarmed me"  
"Explain Severus" Voldemort hissed  
"My Lord, those muggles that Dolohov was so carelessly about to kill are the parents of Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's best friend. It would have caused an uproar and, most certainly, would have prematurely started the war that you have so carefully and intricately been planning"   
"Enough" Voldemort silenced him "you are right that Dolohov's actions would have caused unforgivable circumstances, but, you have also betrayed your brethren tonight. Therefore, you shall both be punished"...

Snape walked out of Malfoy Manor, thankful that he was able to walk. It could have been worse. He remembered the headmasters orders and, very reluctantly, apparated to Grimmauld Place. Quietly closing the door behind him, he checked the clock in the hallway. 1:00am. Everybody would probably be asleep. He carefully crept up the stairs and walked down the long hallway to Hermione's bedroom. He opened the door and looked to the four poster bed over by the far window: empty. Panic started to rise in him, suffocating him from the inside. Where was she? Okay, Severus, breathe, he told himself. Where was she most likely to be? Of course, the library. He was definitely getting slow, he couldn't believe it took him a whole five seconds to deduce that Hermione Granger would be in the library. Pathetic, really. 

He pushed open the large oak doors and found her sitting on a chair in front of the fireplace. As he approached he found she was asleep, blanket draped over her, open book in her lap. He smiled, somewhat fondly, before he realised what he was doing and consciously readjusted his usual scowl back onto his face. He moved the book and set it down. The title standing out to him. Of course she was reading a book on Occlumency. In fact, the very same book that had sparked his interest in becoming an Occlumens. He quietly chuckled - she was constantly surprising him.   
She looked so peaceful whilst asleep. So different to the usual crease that sat between her brows, normally bought on by stress or worry - which she did too much. Here, now, in front of him, she looked so calm and vulnerable and only now was he noticing the few freckles dotted across the bridge of her nose. Complimenting her tanned, smooth, unblemished skin beautifully. He thought, for the first time, about how truly under appreciated she was. Even he could admit it, if it was only to himself, that she was one of the smartest people he'd ever met, rivalled, perhaps, only by himself. She was certainly smarter than her peers, often wiser than the headmaster, and a naturally skilled potion maker-a rare gift. People often said that you could not have both brains and beauty and Severus was inclined to point them towards Hermione Granger. Cynical and snarky he may be; blind he was not. He had to admit he found it hard to associate the thirteen year old, bushy haired, buck toothed, know it all that he loathed to teach with this beautiful, intelligent, strong willed woman asleep in front of him now. He really didn't want to wake her, but he knew the headmaster would have his head if he disobeyed his orders   
"Miss Granger" he shook her arm gently and she stirred slightly "Miss Granger" he tried again. Her eyes fluttered open and she screamed, scrambling back into her chair  
"Shhh, calm down, Miss Granger. Don't be such a child" he scolded her, but he knew he was to blame. He really should have attempted to clean himself up slightly first, he thought, as he put his hand to the gash above his left eye and saw the resulting blood run down his hand. He'd probably traumatised the poor girl  
"Professor, are you alright?" She asked, clearly not traumatised, now awake and on her feet, forcing Snape to sit in the chair she'd just risen from. He didn't appreciate receiving orders from a student, but his back appreciated the comfort of the seat gratefully   
"I'm fine, just bruised, I think"   
"What happened?" She asked, already looking him over for more visible signs of injuries  
"Muggle raids" he said plainly  
"Oh, you didn't..."  
"No, Miss Granger, I'm not a murderer" her face relaxed. She believed him; he could tell. He still couldn't fathom why she so willingly and easily trusted his every word "the headmaster instructed me to come here. He wants you to send him a patronus with my condition" she nodded and continued checking him over, before picking up her wand  
"Expecto Patronum" Snape watched in amazement as the silver silhouette of an Otter sprang from the end of her wand and danced around them. An Otter, how unusual. Hermione spoke to it  
"Professor Dumbledore, I'm here with Professor Snape. He doesn't seem badly injured, he looks a lot worse than he is-"  
"-get on with it" he snapped at her  
"Minds definitely still in tact" she pretended to ignore him, grinning, he scoffed "just a few cuts and bruises, I'll fix him up" she sent the Otter away and got to work. She chose to clean his face by hand. She'd learned, over these last few months, that vanishing blood with magic still leaves the smell of it lingering, and was far less efficient than a rag and some warm water. He winced a couple of times when the cloth came in contact with his wound and each time she apologised. She washed the rest of his face gently, as though caressing it and Snape felt his stomach turn with an emotion he couldn't quite place.   
After finishing his face, she got to work on the rest of him, she furrowed her eyebrows together whilst working, as though she was annoyed  
"What is it? What's wrong?"  
"There's nothing wrong, I just can't believe somebody would do this to you, it's not right"   
"The Dark Lord is hardly concerned with what's right, Miss Granger, he's not a man; he's a monster"  
"You don't deserve this" she said plainly, but the pain in her voice made Snape's stomach turn again for the second time tonight. He thought he was going to be sick  
"Oh, believe me, I do. I deserve a lot worse than what I've been given"   
"How can you say that? What could you possibly have done to deserve any of this?"  
"It's not what I did" he said, quietly "it's what I didn't do" Hermione had no idea what he was talking about but neither of them said another word on the subject  
"So, Occlumency?" He asked her, attempting to fill the silence, referring to the book he'd found on her lap earlier  
"Oh, yeah" she said sheepishly "after we spoke about it before I was so intrigued that when I came across this book I just couldn't help myself"  
"Of course you couldn't" Hermione was surprised by the softness in his voice that she looked up, he was smiling down at her  
"Professor, are you... smiling?" She mocked him, playfully  
"Watch it, Granger"  
"Sorry" she said, smiling. She wasn't sorry and they both knew it. After a moment, Snape sighed   
"Miss Granger, I think we need to talk..."


	14. Chapter 14

Dumbledore was sat in his office studying a cracked ring when a silver Otter came gliding through the window   
"Professor Dumbledore, I'm here with Professor Snape. He doesn't look too badly injured, he looks a lot worse than he is"  
"Get on with it" he heard Snape snap in the background  
"Minds definitely still intact" Dumbledore chuckled, he could practically hear her eyes rolling "just a few cuts and bruises, I'll fix him up" the Otter faded and he smiled knowingly. He knew his plan wouldn't fail. They challenged each other and made an impeccable pair. All a matter of time, he thought to himself happily.   
It was one week into the Easter holidays and Grimmauld Place was as busy as ever. Although she normally adored this environment, Hermione had become noticeably depressed. It started with her not speaking much and avoiding eye-contact; progressing to her skipping meals and Ginny told Harry and Ron that she was sure she heard her crying every night through the thin walls of their conjoined bedrooms.   
Harry and Ron decided they were just going to interrogate her, remind her that she had friends that she could speak to. Excusing themselves from the dinner table, they stormed up the stairs, surprised to find Hermione, just leaving her bedroom  
"Hermione" Ron said "where are you going?"  
"The library" she answered monotonously, avoiding their eyes, suddenly very interested in a loose thread on the end of her sleeve  
"Hermione will you please talk to us?" Harry asked "you haven't been yourself in the past week, what's wrong?"  
"There's nothing wrong Harry" she finally met his gaze "I just realised how close exams are and how little studying I've done; been trying to catch up on it all really"  
"What are you going on about?" Ron asked incredulously "you've done more revision than Harry and me put together"  
"And it's still not enough Ron! Do you have any idea how difficult it is trying to get all of my work done for the infirmary, keep on top of all my homework and make sure I get a sufficient amount of revision done for our exams? No, I didn't think so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the library" she stormed away from them, their mouths agape and their expressions dumbstruck.  
She walked into the library, sitting in the armchair by the fire, bringing back bad memories as she did. She dropped her head into her hands thinking back to a few nights ago.   
***  
"Miss Granger, I think we need to talk"   
"Yes sir, we do" neither of them knew what to say as they looked at each other, neither one daring to break eye contact  
"Though I am flattered by your... affection, I don't believe it is appropriate"  
"I know sir, I never had any intention of you finding out, I'm as mortified as you. I guess it's just a bit of a stupid school crush really" Snape sighed quietly, he knew exactly how dangerous a 'stupid school crush' could be.  
"So we're in agreement then?" He asked her "that this isn't to be spoken about, to anyone; this is the end of the subject"  
"Yes, sir" she felt slightly crushed   
"And, Miss Granger, I think it wise that we limit our contact to the classroom and the Infirmary only. Me as your professor; you as my healer" Hermione dropped her head  
"Yes, sir. I agree" Snape could sense her disappointment and felt, almost, sorry for her. This was the right thing to do, he reasoned with himself. Best to stop it before it starts. After all, it wasn't appropriate; it was against school rules. Though when had he ever been bothered by school rules? He scoffed inwardly. She was of age and surely anybody who knew Hermione Granger knew she was certainly wise enough to make her own decisions and, while she was youthful in looks, she was undoubtedly old in heart and in mind. No, he couldn't nor wouldn't justify this. He had to put an end to it  
"Very well then. Goodnight, Miss Granger"  
"Goodnight" she whispered, her voice croaking slightly. He closed the door behind him as he left; pretending not to hear her crying. Leaving Grimmauld Place, he apparated away, trying to forget tonight ever happened.   
***  
Hermione's heart still sinks at the memory of it. Why hasn't she said anything better than "yes sir"? Why hadn't she argued her case? Told him that her having feelings for him shouldn't stop them from seeing each other. She was an adult. A strong intelligent witch. She would never let her feelings interfere with her work! She didn't know whether she was more angry or upset. All she knew was that she couldn't stop crying.   
She was strongly reminded of that night at the Yule Ball back in fourth year. She felt this way about Ron too. Only this time the feelings were stronger and a lot more powerful; it scared her immensely. 

Back at Hogwarts Hermione grew worse. Instead of throwing herself into her lessons and homework, she sat in her room barely getting through her assignments. The worst of it was Defence lessons. She thought she'd be able to handle seeing her Professor Snape almost on a daily basis; she was wrong. She kept her head down, taking notes that made no sense. On one occasion she had to rewrite a sentence after smearing the ink with her tears. She knew she had to focus the trouble was she couldn't remember how to focus and each time she tried to pay attention she found herself trying to pay attention so hard she hadn't heard a word the professor had said. On a couple of occasions she raised her eyes to look at Professor Snape; each time she found him, with a mixed expression of worry and confusion. It made her feel sick. 

"Albus, I'm worried" Snape had decided, after a week its term, that he couldn't put this off any longer. Hermione was deteriorating before their eyes and he seemed to be the only person to notice.   
"About what, Severus?"  
"Miss Granger, she seems... out of sorts. She's missing homework assignments, barely paying attention in class, I hardly notice her at meals anymore - she's lost at least half a stone- and no one seems to be concerned about this!" He sounded utterly exasperated   
"Really? Poppy hasn't mentioned anything"  
"Why would she? Hermione probably isn't even going to the infirmary anymore either" Snape didn't notice that he had called her Hermione; Dumbledore did  
"Severus, is there something you wish to tell me?"  
"I-" Snape thought for a moment. He debated lying to the headmaster but he had no alternative- he had to tell him  
"A few weeks ago, I learned that Hermione had developed... feelings for me" Dumbledore nodded, seemingly unsurprised by this news "that night in Grimmauld Place when she sent you a Patronus, we spoke about it. We both agreed that it wasn't appropriate and that was the end of it, then all of this happened"  
"Are you sure, Severus, that you both agreed? I think she just didn't want to disagree with you. I also think that you finding it inappropriate isn't the problem - you're scared, Severus. Scared of betraying Lily's memory by allowing yourself to move on. Scared that, without Lily's death to avenge, you'll return to the darkness and, above all else, scared of letting yourself get close to someone, in fear of being hurt again"  
"You're crossing a line, Albus. You have no idea what you're talking about"  
"Really? Because, if my memory serves correct- and it usually does - you have referred to Miss Granger as 'Hermione' twice so far this evening" Snape opened his mouth to argue but came up with nothing  
"So what do we do?" He finally asked  
"Go talk to her Severus"  
"Yes because that turned out splendidly the last time"  
"You know what you have to do to amend this, Severus. It's up to you now"

Snape returned to his chambers and paced around his sitting room. Albus was right, damn him, he had to talk to her. The problem was, it was 11:30, she'd be in her chambers by now. She only left her dorms this late at night if she was needed in the infirmary. That's it!  
"Dobby" he called and the House Elf instantly apparated into his living room  
"You called me, Professor Snape, sir?"  
"Yes, Dobby please go and fetch Miss Granger from her dorms and bring her back here, tell her that I have returned to Hogwarts injured and require her assistance"  
"Yes, sir" he was gone for no more than five seconds before returning with Hermione, looking tired and confused  
"Thank you, Dobby. You may leave now" Dobby bowed before disappearing. Leaving them alone.   
"Professor, Dobby said you were injured, what's wrong? Was it another raid?" Snape didn't answer, instead she looked at her. She was wearing a jumper, that was far too big for her - though it fit perfectly two weeks ago - and a pair of shorts. She was obviously getting into bed when Dobby fetched her. He looked at her intently, her body only visible in the pale moonlight that shone through his window. Illuminating her all over. He couldn't believe the difference in her. The striking contrast from the young woman that sat before him two weeks ago to the shell of her stood five feet from him now. Her cheek bones hollowing, her eyes a dull brown, her hair un-brushed and more wild than ever. Many have argued that Severus Snape has no heart, but he could feel it breaking beneath his ribs as he drank in the broken sight of her before him.   
"Sit, please" he told her. She sat on the sofa obediently and he sat beside her  
"Hermione" he started, she winced slightly "please, look at me" she lifted her head and met his eyes, they flicked side to side, searching her own, looking for answers, trying desperately to understand what had gone wrong   
"What's happened to you?" He asked quietly and she began to cry. He sat there quietly, waiting for her to compose herself  
"I'm sorry" she whispered, wiping her eyes  
"Don't be"  
"I've been so stupid" she whispered, her voice filled with self-hatred. He said nothing. Silently urging her to continue   
"I honestly thought-" she stopped, laughing at herself  
"Yes?"  
"I honestly thought I had a chance. I was seriously naive enough to believe you could reciprocate the feelings. I'm such an idiot" she scolded herself, a few more tears escaped her eyes   
"Surely you know this isn't healthy, Hermione, look at you, this isn't you. You're losing weight, you're grades are slipping. You're better than this Hermione" she looked down, slightly ashamed  
"I know"  
"When was the last time you ate?"  
"Around three days ago, I think"  
"What?" He asked, astounded, he immediately pointed his wand at the coffee table in front of them, conjuring a sandwich, pushing it towards her  
"Eat, please" she picked up the sandwich and nibbled at it, taking small bites that turned into big bites until it was gone  
"Better?" He asked; she nodded  
"Thank you" she whispered  
"You can stay here for a while, if you'd like. I'm going to my potions lab to work on a potion I'm creating, I could use some help" she smiled at him  
"Yes please" they rose from the sofa and she followed him to the lab. He held the door open for her and she thanked him as they stepped inside  
"So what's this potion you're creating?"  
"It's sort of like a sleeping potion, but the drinker won't wake until they're given the antidote, which I have brewing in the corner. It's similar to a medically induced coma in the Muggle world. The only difference being that, because this is brewed from full moon to full moon, with an incantation, this potion will draw on the magical energy of the moon and regenerate the magic within the witch or wizard whilst they sleep"  
"Wow, that's brilliant" Snape looked slightly shocked as though no one had ever complimented his work before, before smiling slightly, turning towards his cauldron.   
"Could you slice those Valerian Sprig roots over there please whilst I stir?" She nodded enthusiastically.

After a few hours of slicing, chopping and stirring, Snape looked up to find Hermione asleep with her arms folded on the table, her head resting on her arms. Looking at the clock he realised it was 3:45am, no wonder she was asleep. He felt quite bad, leaving her asleep in such an uncomfortable position, but he couldn't leave his potion in this stage for any more than five minutes. Trying not to think about how much he'd regret this in the morning, he lifted her gently into his arms and carried her to his bedroom, laying her down on the bed and draping a blanket over her. Wondering if she ever got this feeling of warmth and affection when the roles were reversed and it was her caring for him.


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione awoke startled and confused. She felt around her and deduced that she was in a bed. A large bed. Much larger than her own. She sat up, leaning against the headboard, thinking. She remembered Dobby bringing her to Professor Snape's chambers. They spoke, she cried. They went into the lab to do some work, she'd fallen asleep and.. Oh God. She was in Professor Snape's bed! But where was Professor Snape? He wasn't in the room, thank Merlin, that would have been awkward. She noticed the clock on the wall - 5:20 am. It was still dark outside, he was probably still brewing in the lab. She gently slid out of the bed, wincing slightly at the cold tiles on her feet - he must have removed her shoes - and set off towards his lab  
"Professor?" She asked quietly, he turned around to face her  
"Hermione, what are you doing awake?"  
"Couldn't sleep" she shrugged  
"You should rest" he told her. His tone of voice telling her that he wasn't going to order her back to bed; he was merely stating she should sleep, not that she had to  
"How's the potion coming along?" She asked, walking over to the cauldron he was stirring  
"It's nearly ready for the next stage. Seventeen more stirs and it can be left to simmer for a week, by which time it will be complete" Hermione didn't respond. Instead, she watched his hands as they worked. So delicate and intricate, it was truly mesmerising. He was a completely different person in the comfort of his own lab: gentle, relaxed, soft-spoken. Totally the opposite of the man she knew from the classroom. She preferred this man. There was almost a subtle intimacy to the way he brewed his potions; she admired it wholly  
"Sir?" She spoke and he looked over to her "why have you been calling me Hermione?" She had to ask. She'd been curious since the first night he'd used her given name. Not that she minded. She didn't think she'd ever tire of hearing her name in his smooth, rich voice, but, naturally, she was curious  
"I hadn't realised I had been, in all honesty"  
"Oh" that wasn't the answer she was hoping for, but she'd take it  
"I would like you to accompany me to the Infirmary in a moment, as soon as I've finished stirring"  
"What, why?"  
"Because you're unwell. I want you to be examined by Madam Pomfrey"  
"There's nothing wrong with me"  
"I wasn't asking you, Hermione" he told her sternly  
"Fine" she huffed, sitting down annoyed. 

Once Snape had finished stirring and readjusted the heat, he motioned for her to follow him out of the room. He retrieved her shoes and a blanket for her to wrap around her   
"It's cold in the castle at this time in the morning" he explained.  
Madam Pomfrey was surprised to see them enter  
"Severus, what's wrong, are you hurt?" She hurried over to him   
"I'm fine, Poppy. It's Hermione I'm worried about" the matron raised her eyebrows at the use of Hermione's name, but said nothing of it "would you examine her for me please?"  
"Of course, follow me, Miss Granger"  
Snape sat down on the nearest bed and watched Hermione follow the matron into her office. He had to admit, he was worried. He'd never seen someone lose weight so drastically. All because of him. He was reminded of himself, after that day he'd fallen out with Lily. Hermione was showing the same symptoms he did all those years ago. It made him wonder whether Hermione would do for him what he did for Lily: Betray Lord Voldemort; act as a spy, change her morals and views completely. She was certainly intelligent enough and definitely had the bravery but that didn't bear thinking about. He'd never let Hermione anywhere near that monster. He'd have to die first. As long as he was around, she would never have to be subjected to live his lifestyle. He'd make sure of it. 

Hermione and Madam Pomfrey left the office and the matron beckoned Snape forward. Hermione took his seat on the bed  
"What do you think, Poppy, is she ok?"  
"I wouldn't say 'ok' exactly. She's in love, Severus" Snape had to sit down on the nearest chair, not daring to believe it. Love? She couldn't be in love with him. He'd known she had feelings, a crush -as she'd put it - but love?  
"Are you sure?"  
"Quite sure. She couldn't stand the thought of rejection, it crushed her, which is why she isolated herself and, as a result, she's has become far too malnourished and extremely fatigued. She's both physically and mentally tired and her body will soon start drawing on her magic for energy, which could be dangerous. I need you to ensure that she gets some rest, Severus, it is vital. You will also need to monitor what she eats. I am afraid you are probably the only person she will listen to"  
"I understand" he told her, looking very serious.  
He left the office and draped the blanket back over her shoulders, leading her back to his chambers, once again, taking her up to his bedroom  
"Please sleep, Hermione, you need the rest"   
"I know" she sighed, sliding back under the covers "sir? Could you stay in here with me, just until I fall asleep, please?"  
"Hermione, I don't think-"  
"Please" she asked again and he sighed, defeated  
"Okay" he removed his shoes and sat down next to her. She hummed contentedly and rolled over to face him. He looked down at her, her eyes closed, her breathing even. She was already drifting off.   
He checked the clock on the wall. Breakfast would be starting in half an hour and he had lessons shortly after. He waited a few more minutes, making sure she was asleep, before quietly creeping out of the room to prepare for the day. 

Down at breakfast, Snape took his usual seat at the staff table. There was hardly anyone here this early. Only the headmaster and a couple of students  
"Severus" Dumbledore called his attention "have you had chance to speak to Miss Granger?"  
"Yes" he answered simply, not feeling in the mood for conversation   
"And?" He pressed  
"What exactly do you want me to tell you? She's malnourished, exhausted, falling apart. She's eaten only a sandwich in almost four days and looks worse than some of the Hogwarts ghosts. She won't be attending classes this week and I'll be making sure she sleeps and eats. Anything else you wish me to add?" He asked, bitterly  
"No I think that about covers it" the headmaster smiled happily and returned to his porridge.

Hermione slept for most of the day. Snape was sat in his living room, marking essays, when she emerged from the bedroom  
"What time is it?" She asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes  
"Just after eight. How did you sleep?"  
"Great actually, thank you"  
"Are you hungry?"  
"Starving"  
"Dobby" he called and the house elf appeared immediately "could you please fetch us some dinner? Anything warm and light will do" Dobby bowed as he vanished and reappeared with a variety of toast, soups, pasties and scrambled eggs, he then returned a moment later with orange juice, tea and water  
"Thank you, Dobby"

Neither one spoke whilst they ate. Hermione ate everything she could reach, shovelling it down gratefully   
"Would you like anything else?" He asked after she had cleared her third plate   
"No thank you, I couldn't eat another bite" the silence suddenly got very uncomfortable and neither of them knew what to say. Hermione made herself busy stacking up the empty plates and glasses, reflecting on the last twenty four hours as she did. So much had changed. Snape had actually taking to calling her Hermione habitually (something she desperately hoped he'd stick to), he was constantly watching her with a worried expression as though she was about to crumble into dust, she'd spent the entire day asleep in his bed and then they'd sat down and eaten together. A small part of her hoped that this was progress. That they could become, at least, friends. A larger part of her feared it was the calm before the storm. Doing all of this only to get her healthy again, only to tell her it wasn't appropriate and they should break contact. Surely he should realise that she would only deteriorate once more. Would he keep letting her rapidly decline only to build her back up again? It was a game of cat and mouse; a game she didn't particularly wish to play.   
"Professor?" She asked, curiously "why am I here?"  
"So I can ensure that you sleep and eat" he answered her, as though it were obvious  
"No, I know that. I mean, why here? Why not the infirmary?"  
"Would you prefer to be in the infirmary?"  
"No, of course not, but I can't understand why you would allow me to stay here, knowing what you know, and especially after telling me we couldn't see each other anymore"  
"I never said we couldn't see each other, Hermione, only that I didn't think it wise, which it isn't but, saying that, I don't think I'm going to be getting rid of you anytime soon, am I?" He smiled slightly   
"Only when you get bored of me, sir"  
"I'm afraid it will most likely be the other way around" he sighed   
"Is that what this is about? It has nothing to do with me being a student or twenty years younger than you, does it? You're afraid of letting me in because you think I'll get bored of you. No offence, sir, but I thought you were supposed to be intelligent"  
"Excuse me?"  
"You don't get it, do you? I'm always having to tell you how important you are, why can't you see it? Believe me, I would never get bored of you. You make me frustrated and angry, you make me think, challenge me, you constantly surprise and confuse me but one thing you never make me is bored"  
"Hermione, look, you're still tired, go to bed, we'll speak about this tomorrow"  
"No! For once you're going to listen to what I have to say, Severus Snape!" She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes "I'm in love with you. Really and truly and I don't care who knows it. You deserve to be praised for what you've done, you deserve recognition and respect but, above all else, you deserve to be loved" Snape closed his eyes for a moment, taking it all in. She loved him. Of course, he'd known that, but hearing it from her bought a whole new meaning to the words. His heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn't form a coherent thought in his mind. What was he supposed to say? How could he respond to something like that? He had to admit, the heartache and worry he'd felt seeing her so ill had surprised even him. Made him question his own feelings. She was certainly beautiful- nobody could deny - and she had an intelligence that rivalled his own. She was young and wild and fierce and ... oh God, he was falling in love with her  
"Hermione" he said and then fell silent- not knowing what to say. She looked at him expectantly "I - erm - I don't -"  
"It's ok, sir. I'm not delusional, I know you'll never return the feelings. I just thought you deserved to know"  
"No, it's not that" her face filled with hope "I just- I don't quite know how to respond, in all honesty" she chuckled affectionately   
"No, I don't think I would either" they held each other's gaze for what seemed like an eternity. They searched each other's eyes, hungrily. Neither one needing occlumency to know what they were thinking; feeling. For the first time in his life, Severus Snape felt wanted and appreciated. Not needed for strategy or the advantages he held, but for him. Only him. He could be enough. He was enough. All it took was a fierce young Gryffindor to break down his barriers and return him to the man he once was. The man that knew how to love and be loved in return. A man he'd long forgotten that he never thought he'd see again and, now that man was back, he was going to grab on to him with both hands  
"Come here" he beckoned her forward and she tentatively stepped towards him, looking nervous for the first time tonight. She stood toe to toe with him and he put a hand on her shoulder, briefly searching her eyes before pulling her forward into a hug. Hermione gasped at the sudden contact but hugged back tightly, never wanting to let go of him. She felt safe and warm here and their bodies fit together perfectly as though they were made to be in each other's arms forever. 

Too soon, Severus pulled back, but kept a hold of one of her hands  
"Look, Hermione, I should warn you now, I'm not an easy person to be around. There will be days when I push you out and, honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. But, I'm willing to try"  
"That's all I ask" they smiled at each other before she pulled him back into the embrace.


	16. Chapter 16

“He’s going to kill her!” Severus sobbed, Albus watched him, showing little sympathy  
“the prophet didn’t speak of a woman, Severus, it spoke of a boy born at the end of July”  
“yes but he thinks it’s her son” he almost choked on his own words “hide them, hide them all”  
“what will you give me in exchange, Severus?”  
“anything…”  
***  
Severus woke from his dream, sweating and shaking. It had been a long time since he’d relived that nightmare. Why now? Of course, Lily’s death still haunted him, probably would until the day he died, but why, when he was finally trying to move on with his own life, would his past spring forward from the shadows once again? He looked up at the sound of the door creaking open. Hermione tiptoed out of his bedroom to where he was sleeping in his sitting room  
“are you ok, sir?” she asked him quietly  
“yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you”  
“oh, I wasn’t asleep”  
“Hermione” he sighed “you know how important it is that you get your rest, and you know as well as I do Madam Pomfrey will have my head if I don’t get you healthy”  
“I’m not a child, you know” she moved closer to where he sat “I don’t need babysitting, I can look after myself”  
“oh, really? Because I seem to recall your health rapidly declining after just two weeks without my presence” he raised an eyebrow at her  
“yes, and now were together, so what’s the problem?” He smiled at her. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of hearing her say they were together. He’d longed to hear those words out of a woman’s mouth, and that was exactly what she was, a woman. A strong, beautiful, intelligent woman and she was his. Surely he didn’t deserve this  
“do you want to talk about it?” She asked him, bringing him back to reality  
“hm?”  
“The nightmare, do you want to talk about it?” right, the nightmare. He’d almost forgotten all about it. Almost  
“No, go back to bed. It’s late and you need to sleep”  
“I’m not tired” she told him, sitting down next to him  
“Hermione, please stop being stubborn. I really am trying my hardest to be kind and patient with you but you have to remember, this is all new to me and I don’t want to scream at you just because you’re being childish”  
“childish? I’m being childish because I’m not tired? I understand you’re new to this, sir, but we’re supposed to be equals now, that’s how relationships work. You can’t hand out orders to me and expect me to blindly follow. You have to see me as your partner, not your inferior”  
“Hermione, please. I’m not in the mood to speak about this tonight, go to bed”  
“No” she huffed  
“fine, then I will. Enjoy the sofa” he rose from his seat and stormed off to the bedroom. She watched him, incredulously, as she was forced to lay down on the sofa. The nerve of him! She thought. How dare he not only walk away from her, but practically kick her out of bed, too? She leaned back against the pillow, contemplating how angry she was, trying to ignore the scent of him on the pillows, as she drifted to sleep, feeling more comfortable than she had in days. In the next room, Severus was doing exactly the same.  
Morning approached and Severus groaned at the sunlight that persistently shone through his curtains, directly onto his eyes. The clock on the wall told him it was 7:30. Realising he was so late, he quickly jumped out of bed, going slightly dizzy as he did, and rushed to get ready. He entered the sitting room and found it empty. Where was she? Well, if she was going to still be childish, so was he. With a flick of his cloak, he left for breakfast, inwardly sulking, and rather annoyed. He walked through the doors to the Great Hall to see Hermione sat with Potter and Weasley at the Gryffindor table. That insufferable little witch! He thought. He strode past her, glaring at her as he did, she didn’t glance at him once  
“what was that about?” Ron asked  
“What?”  
“Snape. He looked at you like he wanted to kill you”  
“I don’t know, its Snape, he wants to kill everyone” she told him and they all laughed. She braved a quick glance up to the head table, and found him watching her, intently. She looked back down, quickly, she wouldn’t let him scare her into forgiving him. He was wrong! She loved him, dearly, but if he wanted to be with her, he had to treat her with respect. She wouldn’t let love get in the way of her morals and Hermione Granger would back down to no man, Severus Snape or not  
“so are you going to be in classes today ‘Mione?” Harry asked her  
“no, Madame Pomfrey still wants me to rest, she said the stress of the exams and revision has gotten too much for me and I need some time away from classes. I’m having my school work bought to me, but I thought I’d join you for breakfast today”   
“well, we’re glad, we’ve missed you”  
“oh, Harry, I’ve been meaning to ask you, did you find out any more about those Horcruxes?”   
“oh, yeah! Dumbledore thinks he’s found another, he wants me to go with him next week to retrieve it”  
“What? Harry do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You could get killed!”  
“don’t worry, I’ll be with Dumbledore”  
“oh, look, you’ve finally returned” Severus said, bitterly, as he walked into his chambers after his last class, finding Hermione with her nose in a book  
“sir, what’s a Horcrux?”   
“what?” he asked, taken aback   
“a Horcrux. I’ve been in the restricted section all day, but these books only mention them in passing, they never actually go into detail”  
“Hermione, I don’t know what you’re reading, or why for that matter, but that’s incredibly dark magic, and I don’t want you to have anything to do with it”  
“there you go again with the ordering around” she muttered  
“I’m serious, Hermione, those things are dangerous, please, for me, stop”  
“but, what are they?”  
“why are you so eager to know?”  
“because Harry and Professor Dumbledore are going searching for them, and Harry asked me a while ago if I know what they are, it seems only fair that Harry should know what he’s actually looking for”  
“searching for them? What do you mean?”  
“exactly what I said”  
“yes, but why” she looked at him as though he’d gone stupid  
“really? Can you not think of a reason why Harry and the Headmaster would go out searching for something? Were you not around for the last sixteen years?”  
“You mean, The Dark Lord? He’s created a Horcrux?”  
“No, Horcruxes, as in, more than one, but what are they?” She asked again, annoyed  
“a Horcrux is an object in which one contains a part of their soul. They have to commit a murder in order to split the soul and then they enclose it inside a mundane object. Basically, they can’t die”  
“oh” they stared at each other for a moment before they both scrambled towards the door and hurried towards the headmaster’s office, ignoring the confused looks from students in the corridor  
“horcruxes, Albus, really? There are parts of the Dark Lord’s soul out in the world and you deemed it appropriate to keep it from me?”  
“I take it that it was Miss Granger that told you”  
“of course she told me, at least someone did”  
“Severus, when you took this role, you knew there would be certain information I would keep from you. For your safety and for the safety of the school”  
“oh, come off it, Albus. You know I would be the best person to discover the location of the Horcruxes, I am the Dark Lord’s most trusted servant”  
“Severus, do not question my judgement. I have my reasons for what I’m doing, trust me”  
“trust you? Why should I trust you? Please, give me a reason why, after all of these years, I should trust you, after all, you have never given me reason to!” He shouted, his temper rising. Hermione gently touched his arm, trying to calm him. Dumbledore saw his opportunity and he took it  
“really, never? So, after all these years, you never trusted me not to disclose your secret? The true reason why you pledged your allegiance to me? Why you hate Harry so much; why, after thirty years, you have never been able to love another”   
“you go too far, Albus, you swore to me that you wouldn’t tell a soul”  
“and you swore to follow my orders, until the very end. Now, your word Severus?” Severus nodded, hatefully, and stormed from the room, Hermione stayed  
“what was that all about?” She asked the Headmaster  
“I believe it best you ask Severus that, my dear. When he’s ready, he’ll let you know. After all, I have reason to believe you have gotten very close these last couple of days” He smiled and winked at her over his half-moon spectacles and she blushed madly as she left.  
Just before she was about to enter Professor Snape’s chambers, she stopped as she heard a loud crashing coming from inside, followed by another and another. He was destroying the place. She rushed inside  
“Sir? Sir!” She shouted over the noise and he stopped to look at her  
“please. Leave me” she didn’t respond, instead she walked closer to him “Hermione” he warned but still, she didn’t listen, walking closer and closer until she stood close enough to see her reflection in his dark black eyes. He watched her, curiously, as she stood in front of him. Just standing there, looking into his eyes. She took his hand and led him over to the sofa, sitting down and pulling him with her. She rubbed her thumb in soothing circles on top of his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him trembling slightly with anger and letting out shaky breaths. She continued to stay silent, just simply being there. He hadn’t realised that this was exactly what he’d needed for so long, somebody to just simply be there with him. Somebody to focus his thoughts on to keep the overwhelming thoughts from the front of his mind. He tilted his head to rest it on top of hers and put his free hand on top of her hand that was still rubbing circles on his other  
“thank you” he whispered  
“always.”  
Monday morning rolled around far too fast for Hermione’s liking and she found herself back in classes. The last week had been good for her. She and Severus had finally connected in a way she hadn’t thought possible. She’d seen a raw, emotional, vulnerable side to him that she wouldn’t have thought existed had she not witnessed it first-hand. They’d become closer than ever, putting their hand on each other’s shoulders as they passed one another, leaning against each other as they sat in his chambers of a night time reading. She loved this side of him more than she thought possible and she was trying to ignore the fact that she had to go back to her original chambers as of tonight. The thought gave her a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach  
“and that concludes our lesson for today” Professor Binn’s addressed the class “don’t remember your assignments on the International Statute of Secrecy are due on Friday morning” he told them as they piled out of his classroom. Finally, the last lesson of the day. She went to her chambers to change before going down to dinner  
“hi ‘Mione” Harry and Ron greeted her together  
“hi” she smiled at them happily. She looked up toward the staff table and caught Professor Snape’s gaze. They both refrained from smiling at each other and quickly returned to their food  
“oh, Harry, I forgot to tell you, I found some information on Horcruxes”  
“what? What did you find out?” He asked, eagerly  
“Basically, a Horcrux is an item that someone puts a part of their soul into. Voldemort has split his soul into pieces and hidden them in objects. In other words, the only way to kill him is to destroy the Horcruxes first”  
“that sounds easy” Ron said.  
Even though Hermione had to spend her nights in her own chambers, she still elected to spend her evenings with Severus, and he welcomed her openly  
“how was your classes today?” He asked her as she sat down next to him and he took her hand  
“quite nice, actually. I missed them”  
“of course you did” he rolled his eyes and she playfully shoved him  
“how was your day?” She asked him  
“tedious, you weren’t in any of my classes”  
“whoa, when did you become sweet?” She mocked him   
“shut up”  
“there’s the Professor I know and love”  
“I’ve been thinking, about how you always call me ‘Professor’ or ‘sir’. Don’t you think it’s time you called me by my actual name? After all, we are together”  
“okay, Severus” he smiled at her and pulled her against his side  
Although Severus seemed fine on the outside; inside he was crumbling. Less than a week before Albus and Potter were going searching for a Horcrux and Draco had almost finished repairing the vanishing cabinet. He’d struck a deal with the Headmaster that he would be the one to kill him but now Severus was starting to doubt himself. What would it mean for him and Hermione? Naturally, she wouldn’t be able to look at him once he’d murdered Albus and the whole school would see him as a traitor. No. He couldn’t do it. He’d finally had a glimpse of happiness. He knew how it felt to be more than just a pawn in one huge game of chess and he wasn’t going to sacrifice it. He was going to be selfish, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it either.  
“You wished to speak with me, Severus?”  
“Yes. Albus, I don’t think I can do it anymore”  
“do what?”  
“kill you. I can’t do it”  
“Severus, you know you must. We both know Draco will not be able to do it, he is just a child. You must be the one to kill me, Severus, it is the only way. Only then will the Dark Lord trust you completely”  
“I’m sorry, Albus, I have more than just my own life to live for now”  
“what are you trying to say?”  
“I have a reason to live now. Hermione. I won’t let her think me a traitor. I can’t lose her now, not after everything we’ve been through”  
“then tell her, she’s an intelligent girl. She’ll understand”  
“no, I won’t burden her with this. Besides, even if I did, how would it look if I murder you and she’s caught with me? She’ll be seen as a traitor; she’ll lose her friends. I won’t put her through that. I have no option, I can’t do it”  
“Severus, you gave me your word”  
“haven’t you ever thought that I’ve had enough of this? Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don’t want to do this anymore?”  
“whether it has or hasn’t is irrelevant Severus, this isn’t up for discussion”  
“as you wish, Albus” Severus left the room going to find Hermione  
“Severus, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me” Severus had found Hermione in the library, studying, and practically dragged her all the way to his chambers  
“we have to go” he told her, once they were in the privacy of his sitting room “right now. Go and pack some clothes, we have to leave the castle”  
“what, why? Severus, what’s going on?”  
“I can’t tell you, ok? Not yet, anyway. Just trust me, we have to go” she still stood there, looking at him, waiting for an explanation, he sighed “please, Hermione. Do you trust me?”  
“of course, with my life”  
“then, please. Just do what I ask. Just this once”  
“give me five minutes” she told him and left hurriedly to her dorm to pack some clothes into a bag. Ten minutes later, she was back in his quarters, packed and ready  
“we’ll stay here until nightfall, which is when we’ll leave the school grounds and apparate to Spinners End”  
“Spinners End?”  
“It’s a small town in Ilfracombe, North Devon, where I grew up. My house has been listed as a safe house, no Death Eater’s will be able to find us there. Only Narcissa Malfoy knows exactly where it is, Bellatrix has visited once but she was apparated blindly by Narcissa, she knows nothing of its whereabouts and Narcissa would never disclose my location, she’s an excellent liar and a very good friend” Hermione tried her best to take in all of this information, looking confused and extremely worried “don’t worry, Hermione, I’ll keep you safe. Always”


	17. Chapter 17

Night fell and Severus and Hermione hurried through the grounds of the castle. Hermione still had no idea what was going on, but Severus obviously thought that it was important, and she trusted him wholly. As they walked through the gates, Severus quickly grabbed onto Hermione’s arm and they apparated away. They landed in a dismal little village, it was dark and dirty and every house was identical. Severus hurried down the street and Hermione followed him quickly, they came to a house, one that looked no different to the rest and Severus unlocked the door, ushering her inside and looking behind them for witnesses. As soon as they were inside, he relocked the door and they walked through the dimly lit hallway and stepped into the small living room. Hermione noted that the inside of the house looked worse than the outside. The dull, dirty wallpaper was rotting and peeling away at the corners. The furniture was dusty and worn, the coffee tables stained and slanted. The entire house looked as though it could fall apart at any moment; Hermione thought it might  
“you live here?” She asked, disbelieving  
“Only during the summer. It was my parent’s house, I know it’s not much, but it’s all we have for now”  
“about that, why did we have to leave again?”  
“Because I can’t do it anymore, Hermione”  
“you brought me here to break up with me?”  
“What? No, of course not. I mean I can’t do both the Dark Lord’s and Dumbledore’s bidding anymore. I can’t keep living these two lives, not when I have a better life I could be living, and this is the only place we could escape to where we can’t be found. Not even Dumbledore can get here”  
“so, you mean, we’re running away?”  
“for now, yes. From here we can still contact the order, via floo, and keep track of progress, with both of our minds together we can try to figure out the location of the Horcruxes and help Potter on his journey”  
“but, this isn’t supposed to be right, we’re supposed to be out there, fighting. I was supposed to go with Harry; I’m supposed to help him. Harry and Ron won’t survive a week without me”  
“they will have the both of us, only we’ll be helping from here; from safety. Hermione, you have to understand. If we return we’ll be in terrible danger, I won’t survive this war, I never expected to, but now, I have a reason to, I want to and I’m going to go to any means necessary to ensure that I do”  
“yes but running away, Severus”  
“Hermione, trust me”  
“no, you keep asking me to trust you but you won’t tell me anything. I can’t just keep blindly following you without reason. You have to talk to me, Severus” he sighed, he had to tell her, she was right, she wasn’t going to stay here, unquestioning, when she could be out there with her best friends, saving the world, damn her Gryffindorness  
“ok, Hermione, listen. I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise not to speak until I’m finished, ok?” She nodded, waiting for him to continue  
“at the beginning of the year, Draco Malfoy was recruited by the Dark Lord to be his newest follower, the youngest Death Eater this cause has ever seen. I believe he did it as punishment for Lucius losing the Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries last year. He then granted Draco with a task. Draco has to kill Dumbledore”  
“what?”  
“Hermione, please, not a word, remember? Anyway, naturally, Dumbledore knows this, he also knows that Draco won’t have the heart to commit a murder, but Draco has been repairing a broken vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement, one that has a twin inside Borgin and Burkes. They are aiming to create a pathway between the two, so that Death Eaters can storm the castle. Dumbledore’s great almighty plan was to have me murder him, so that the Dark Lord would trust me completely and hopefully, once he’d taken over the school, he’d appoint me Headmaster so that I could do my utmost to protect the students”  
“that’s a stupid plan” she told him and Severus chuckled  
“yes, it is. The only problem is that I made an unbreakable vow with Narcissa, promising her that I would aid Draco, help and protect him, and you’re intelligent enough to know what happens when one breaks an unbreakable vow” Hermione went pale, not daring to believe it  
“an unbreakable vow? What possessed you to do something so stupid?”  
“Bellatrix Lestrange”  
“oh. Then what are we going to do? There must be a way around this”  
“that’s what I’m hoping to find out but, there’s nothing we can do tonight. It’s late, let’s go to bed, we’ll figure this out tomorrow” Snape took her hand and led her up the creaky stairs  
“this is my bedroom” he told her, opening the door, she stepped inside, looking around. There wasn’t a lot in there. Only a few books, a nightstand and a bed  
“I’ll be in the room next door if you need anything, ok? The bathroom is the third door down on your right. Do you need anything else?”  
“no, thank you” he turned and left, leaving Hermione alone. She was in the childhood home of Severus Snape. She could hardly believe it. She felt incredibly guilty to be abandoning Harry and Ron like this, without a word to either of them. Would they think her a traitor? Would they want to speak to her? She tried not to think about it too much tonight. Deciding that she needed to sleep, she pulled the covers back and got into bed.  
She woke early to the sound of Severus walking around in the kitchen. She got out of bed to use the bathroom and then walked downstairs, still wearing what she’d slept in  
“good morning” he greeted her, returning to the stove where he appeared to be scrambling eggs  
“hi” she replied  
“hungry?”  
“very” he put down a plate of eggs and toast in front of her and he sat down opposite her, drinking his black coffee and reading this morning’s Daily Prophet  
“there’s nothing about our disappearance yet, but, I suppose it’s early, we could both still be sleeping as far as the school is concerned”   
“so… what are we going to do about our situation?”  
“we’re going to spend the day in my study, trying to figure something out” she nodded and had another forkful of eggs.   
“this is impossible!” Hermione complained, an hour later, after she had finished skimming her fourth book “everything about an unbreakable vow just tells you how you’ll die if you break one, I don’t think they can be broken!” She huffed, slumping into the nearest chair  
“there has to be a way. Magic is never exact, Hermione, you know this; we just have to keep looking. I just wish Albus would have died sooner with that bloody cursed hand of his”  
“cursed hand?”  
“you haven’t noticed? The Headmaster’s hand, its black and withered, it looks as though it might fall off”  
“of course I’ve noticed, I just never commented on it. So, what do you mean, cursed?”  
“The Headmaster found a dark object, now that I think about it, it was probably a Horcrux. He touched it and, by doing so, the curse travelled into his body, he very nearly died, the night he returned to the castle but, luckily, I was able to contain the curse to his hand. He has roughly about two months left before he’ll die anyway”  
“well, surely, if he’ll die anyway, you won’t have to kill him. You can’t control when he dies of natural causes. You could have the intent of killing him, but something else could get to him first”  
“no, in the vow I specifically stated that, should Draco fail, I must be the one to kill him. It’s the only way. I wish Draco would succeed. I don’t know what he’s thinking, sending bottles of poisoned mead and cursed necklaces”  
“so, what you’re saying is, Draco already has failed, with the necklace and the mead? His attempts have already been unsuccessful so you could kill him now, which would fall in to the rules of the vow?”  
“I suppose so, yes”  
“then couldn’t you just… reverse whatever you did, when you contained the curse to Dumbledore’s hand? Let it spread and kill him”  
“You’re ruthless, you know that? You’d have been a fantastic Slytherin” he told her, his eyes softening and looking at her as though for the first time “ You know, that plan might just work… The only problem is, were in hiding now. Now that we’re here, we can’t leave. We’ll have to wait for the right time, bring Dumbledore to us”  
“that could take weeks”  
“it’s the only way”  
Dismal as it was, Hermione was really enjoying her time at Spinners End, she figured she might as well get used to the place, seeing as she might be here a while but, surprisingly, she actually rather liked it here. She had spent most of the afternoon cleaning, trying to make the house a bit brighter, whilst Severus was diving into endless piles of books, trying to find evidence that Hermione’s plan would actually work and, after she had finally finished cleaning, the place looked great. She was extremely thankful, though, that she was already seventeen and no longer carried the trace. It would have taken her weeks to make this house look respectable. It had taken her only hours with magic. The tables sparkled, the windows were once again transparent, the wallpaper looked brand new, the doors hung straight and the desks and worktops were clutter free. It made her wonder why Severus had never done it himself previously. Sure, he was only here through the summer but still, that was almost two months out of the year he would have had to live here. Her most likely explanation was that Severus felt no real emotional ties to the house, and therefore never bothered maintaining its appearance. After all, he was a man of little needs, as she was quickly discovering. It was really starting to bother her that they hadn’t yet shared their first kiss. Sure, they’d only been together for a couple of days, but she’d secretly been wanting to feel his lips against her own since the day in third year when he’d placed himself between Harry, Ron and herself and Remus, once he’d transformed. Willing to selflessly sacrifice himself to protect them. She’d never quite looked at him the same since that day. As silly as it was, she felt like his lack of interest in sharing intimacy with her made her feel as though he didn’t want her, didn’t find her attractive enough and she couldn’t help but feel slightly upset by this. She headed toward the study, straightening a picture on the wall as she walked.   
She knocked the door to his study, unsure as to whether he would want to be disturbed, but his voice held no malice as he called “come in”  
“how is it going?” She asked, sitting down on a chair in front of his desk  
“I haven’t found any evidence to suggest your plan would be unsuccessful. I am pretty confident it is allowed”  
“that’s great” she smiled at him. He looked at her, curiously, as though sensing there was something more; something bothering her  
“what is it?” He asked  
“what?”  
“There’s something troubling you, what is it?” He asked again. Hermione looked down into her hands. She was no longer as shy in his presence as she once was, but still, relationships was a subject Hermione couldn’t master through the comfort of her beloved books. This was as foreign to her as telephones were to Arthur Weasley and she hated the fact that the only way to gain any form of information was to go about it practically. She was completely out of her depth. “Hermione?” He asked again, pressing her to talk to him. The only way she was going to learn about this was to approach it head on  
“I’m just a little out of my depth here. I don’t really understand what a relationship is supposed to consist of. How we should behave or speak”  
“the great Hermione Granger doesn’t understand?” He teased, lightly  
“this isn’t funny, Severus” she scolded. Her face unamused  
“Hermione, there are no expectations here. Don’t forget, I am as new to this as you are. We’re taking each day as it comes and we will find a path and routine that works for us in our own time. We don’t have to rush in to anything or abide by any rules of expectancy”  
“why haven’t you kissed me?” She blurted out suddenly, before she had a chance to think about what she’d said  
“what?” He asked, confused as to where this sudden outburst had sprung from  
“that’s what couples do, right? They kiss and hug and… other things” she turned slightly red “why haven’t we done that?”  
“Like I said, we’re finding our own pace. There are no hard rules about how a relationship should progress, why is this bothering you?”  
“I don’t know I just thought that maybe… you don’t find me pretty enough” Snape scoffed, rolling his eyes   
“are you really so self-conscious that you cannot see your own worth? Have you never looked into a mirror? Attraction has nothing to do with it Hermione, I didn’t want to rush into anything, for both of our sakes. After all, good things come to those who wait, or so I’ve heard”  
“so, you do think I’m pretty?” Severus couldn’t understand where all of this self-doubt was coming from. It was as though she needed this validation, as she looked up at him with her big brown eyes – he finally understood all those years she spent with her arm stretched up into the air in the classroom. She had to be praised and commended. Just as much as he needed to be loved and appreciated  
“of course. I don’t bring just anyone home, you know” he smiled at her and she smiled back  
“thank you” she whispered. Just then Severus gasped loudly, clutching his forearm, his eyes wide with terror  
“what? What is it?” Hermione asked, frantically  
“I’m being summoned”  
“My Lord, I do not think he is coming” all of the Death Eaters sat around a large wooden table at Malfoy Manor, watching their master, fearfully, as though he were a bomb that could detonate at any moment. They had delayed their meeting fifteen minutes - awaiting Severus’ arrival. Voldemort turned his attention to the person whom had spoken, his red eyes glinting with hatred and, with a violent flick of his wand, the man in question fell, lifelessly, from his chair  
“I must say, I am disappointed. I have known Severus to be late, but to not show? Oh dear…” He hissed, everybody sunk into their seats slightly, fearful, except for Bellatrix who leaned forward hungrily, hanging on to her masters every word. “No matter. Tonight’s proceedings will have to be carried out without him – pity. Now go, remember your duties and, if anyone sees Severus, kill him” all of the Death Eaters disapparated to Knockturn Alley, marching one by one into Borgin and Burkes.   
“He’s angry” Severus told her, still holding his arm where the tattoo writhed beneath his fingers “I think it’s happening tonight- the raid on the castle. He knows Draco won’t be able to kill Albus, he never expected him to. He was relying on me to do it”  
“we need to go, we need to help them!”  
“Hermione, we can’t. If we go in there we’ll be killed on sight. Me as a traitor, you as a muggle born, we can’t go there. Trust me, Albus will survive tonight, and he is fiercely loyal over his students. They will be well protected, I assure you” Hermione had to admit, they were in danger now more than ever. His betrayal to the Dark Lord would certainly make him vulnerable and the Death Eaters would be searching for him  
“so what do we do?” She asked him  
“There is nothing we can do now; it will be too late to warn the others, there is probably a battle already underway. The only thing we can do is go to the study and attempt to make progress on the location of the remaining Horcruxes”  
“ok, let’s go then”  
Severus was right about the loyalty Dumbledore felt towards his school and its students. If it weren’t for the fact that they were observing him, almost single-handedly fighting off a mass of Death Eaters, nobody would have thought this seemingly frail old man capable of such power and skill. He and Minerva were stood, back to back, disarming, maiming and occasionally, killing Death Eaters as they rotated around each other, the remaining staff evacuating the school, leading them down to Hogsmeade and onto the train. Draco Malfoy stood duelling with Harry, whilst Ron was trying to hex as many people as possible  
“enough” Lucius Malfoy called from behind his mask and the Death Eaters all stopped to face him “we must return” he told them again and they all quickly dispersed out onto the school grounds, Bellatrix was causing as much destruction as possible as she went  
“Albus, what happened, why tonight?” Minerva asked him, breathless  
“I doubt we will ever know” he told her in his voice that made him sound as though he had all the answers of the universe.  
“It’s over” Severus told Hermione, looking up from the book he was frantically studying “he’s even more furious now” he moaned loudly at the pain in his arm. The Dark Mark that was permanently inked there was now glowing red around the edges as though it were burning. It squirmed, irritated and Severus held on to it tightly, as though trying to will the pain away  
“is there no way to remove that?” She asked him, pointing to the mark  
“not unless I am willing to remove my arm” he told her flatly “and even then, the dark magic within it is too infused into my blood, it would do no good now”  
“then we better hope that we find some answers – and fast” the worry and determination on her face, directed towards him, caused him to decide against telling her of the throbbing headache that was making itself present in his mind, on account of the Unbreakable Vow that he was neglecting.


End file.
